A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Gift Guide
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Income Disposal Newswire
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios

Newscaster delivers harrowing indictment of February’s bleakness

Screenshot: YouTube
Screenshot: YouTube

No, T.S. Eliot, April was not the cruelest month. Well, not to this guy, at least. In this dry, hilariously dour video, Kevin Killeen of St. Louis’ KMOX shares his thoughts on why February is both the worst and most honest of months. It’s basically the Phil Connors’ “it’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be gray, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life speech” from Groundhog Day, only real.

Killeen’s mussed hair, loose tie, and deadpan delivery provide the perfect complement to his sad assessment of lonely-looking buildings and abandoned umbrellas. “This looks like a place where people who are being punished are sent,” he says of downtown St. Louis’ frigid, concrete grays. With the camera scanning over stark, leafless branches, Killeen muses that “it’s as if there’s some awful truth out there in the trees.”

In the segment’s closing moments, Killeen recognizes Valentine’s Day and Mardi Gras, but opines that they’re both undone by Ash Wednesday. “What other month could host a holiday that’s designed to remind us we’re all gonna die?”

Ken Killeen, you speak for the curmudgeon inside us all.

Submit your Great Job, Internet tips here.