In news that can only be conveyed using the crude emojis known as words, popular Nickelodeon show Sam & Cat has been put on “permanent hiatus” under seemingly mysterious circumstances—circumstances that have proven far more intriguing to adults than anything on Nickelodeon reasonably should. Some of those circumstances involve the leaking of “racy photos” of its 21-year-old star Jennette McCurdy in lingerie, which prompted speculation that Nickelodeon could cancel the show from people who read anything beyond the words “racy photos.” That speculation only became more fervent after McCurdy didn’t attend the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards, despite her show—the top-rated on the network—sweeping several categories. Her snub created a controversy akin to Marlon Brando refusing to attend the Oscars, among people who don’t know who Marlon Brando is.
McCurdy later explained her Kid’s Choice absence with a lengthy tweet, saying she had been “put in an uncomfortable, compromising, unfair situation (many of you have guessed what it is).” Like all social media updates from young people, its frustrating vagueness only made it all the more fascinating. Though she later clarified, “My previous tweet had nothing to do with pics leaked.oh you guys lol,” some still speculated they were the root of her problems with the network, enough to force Nickelodeon to issue an official denial, lol. Some others speculated, due to McCurdy’s acknowledgment of “McCurdians and Arianators alike,” that she was alluding to a growing divide with her Sam & Cat co-star, Ariana Grande, whom she had recently, dramatically unfollowed on Twitter. Still others were adults who have jobs and stuff.
For whatever it’s worth, Deadline has refuted claims that McCurdy and Grande are feuding. Meanwhile, TMZ has claimed that McCurdy is “pissed that Grande makes WAY MORE money than her,” hence her feelings of discontent and the work stoppage. But the network insists that this unusual “hiatus” on its most popular show, one that’s strangely yet to receive a second season order, is due to everyone being “understandably tired” from wrapping the show’s exhausting 40-episode-per-season shooting schedule. It’s all made for a compelling drama, even more so than the travails of the two supporting characters from iCarly and Victorious starting a babysitting service.
In related news, Disney’s Dog With A Blog is still going strong, despite its butthole being right out there for two seasons now.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org