Noel Tries The New Foods: The "We All Scream" Edition

Noel Tries The New Foods: The "We All Scream" Edition

If you're in our core demographic–youngish, pop-culture-savvy, and partial to irony–you're probably already aware that Ben & Jerry's just added a new flavor in honor of faux-pundit Stephen Colbert. But you may not know that Edy's (a.k.a. Dreyer's in some regions) has a series of American Idol-themed flavors, for fans of ice cream and ersatz pop music. (Edy's loyalists have been asked to vote on the best AI flavor, with the winner becoming a permanent part of the Edy's family.) How do these frozen confections actually taste? Let me grab a spoon.

Ben & Jerry's Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream

The package promises caramel ribbons and fudge-covered waffle cone pieces and the contents don't disappoint. Devoted ice cream eaters know the feeling of working through a pint and being unable to stop because you just found a rich vein of fudge/cookie bits/what-have-you. With Ben & Jerry's, it's too easy to pound down a whole pint without meaning to, because the veins never tap out. A B&J; pint is arguably too packed. It's more like candy a la mode than a traditional specialty ice cream.

But I've got to let go of any B&J; reservations in the face of "Americone Dream," because it comes close to approximating the ice cream treat I've been dreaming about for a decade now. I've been keeping it to myself, in hopes of striking it rich with this idea someday, but I think the greater good has to prevail here–that greater good being my need to eat this snack as soon as possible. Picture a tablespoon of ice cream (any flavor), dipped in chocolate (or caramel, or a ribbon of peanut butter), encased in a bite-sized tubular waffle cone, then dipped in chocolate again. Wouldn't you just eat that up like bon-bons? Get to work, ice cream manufacturers. This is a million dollar idea, but I'm giving it away for free. (And if it turns out that such a thing already exists, let me know where I can get it … like, right now.)

Edy's Slow Churned Rich 'N' Creamy: Takes The Cake

If I were really devoted to this project, I'd try the other four flavors Edy's is offering under the AI banner: "Choc 'N' Roll Caramel," "Hollywood Cheesecake," "Triple Talent," and especially "Soulful Sundae Cone" (which would be most like the Colbert flavor). But I can't spare the freezer space, and anyway, I can't resist cake. (It's what my cake-hole is for.) So the prospect of a yellow cake flavored ice cream with frosting and sprinkles was too tempting to pass up.

Of course, the problem with combining one tasty dish with another equally tasty dish is the danger of flavor overload–which is definitely the case with "Takes The Cake." This is sugar on top of sugar on top of sugar. (Kind of like a typical episode of American Idol, only without a Simon for contrast.) It's not bad, just overwhelming. A single scoop is just fine–like licking the frosting off a whisk that's been stored in the freezer. Two scoops is like picking up an ice-cold bowl of batter and gulping it down in under a minute.

Still, I hope people vote for "Takes The Cake," because I'd like to buy a carton for my son's next birthday party. I'm curious how birthday cake ice cream would taste served with birthday cake. (I'm already conceiving a birthday-cake-flavored punch to serve on the side.)

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More new foods coming soon, including the potato chip that eats like a meal (a Chinese meal, no less), and the infiltration of "fancy candy" into our grocery checkout lanes.

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