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Now they're making a biblical TV show about King David

At this point, there are so many competing TV and film projects based on scripture, we're combing the Internet for a picture of Pope Francis hula-hooping we can run in lieu of all future announcements. In the meantime, we're obligated to announce that director Wolfgang Petersen will be making a TV series about King David.

David is best known to the non-devout for his famous, metaphor-spawning battle with Goliath. But as the Old Testament describes, he also went on to become king of the Israelites after a series of successful military campaigns, ruling for 40 years in a reign that had its fair share of TV-friendly adultery and murder. With Jesus, Moses, Noah, and now David heading to the screen, we're already looking forward to when Bible films move on to their Ant-Man phase, highlighting minor characters like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

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