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Now you can just audition for movie roles on the Internet

Becoming a movie star no longer requires navigating a fragile infrastructure based on blowjobs now that Sony has launched Face Of The Fan, its new online casting service. The bold step in “virtual talent searching” kicks off with an open call for someone to play the “pivotal role” of “a female teenager” in the upcoming, thoroughly necessary fourth film in the Underworld vampires vs. werewolves series. Hopefuls can download script pages, then upload your audition video, where it will be instantly judged and dismissed by a panel of real-live casting scumbags who think your head looks weird. Since no female teenagers read this site that we know of, please forward this to your sister and her friends who want to be famous movie stars but don’t want to do all of that boring drama class stuff.

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