Taking your place atop the Iron Throne—Game Of Thrones' violently disputed comfy chair, where the melted broadswords of the surrendered are your lumbar support—usually requires untold amounts of bloodshed and political maneuvering or, at the very least, being the puppet-faced product of incest who’s lucky enough to inherit it. But as with King Joffrey, why go through the trouble of earning the throne when you could just use the power of your stock to claim it? HBO has announced plans to begin selling life-sized replicas of the Iron Throne forged in the finest of fiberglass and resin, all for the kingly sum of $30,000 apiece. The network said in the accompanying press release that "calling it impressive is an understatement"—both the hubris in believing that there are enough people willing to spend $30,000 on a replica throne to justify selling them, and the fact that they weigh around 350 pounds and are over 7 feet tall, which should make incorporating them into your décor its own prolonged territorial battle. "All hail the king of Game Of Thrones fans!" the person who owns this shall proclaim to an empty room.
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