Rap-rock grill shooter Kid Rock is one step closer to vision-boarding his rise to public office into the world, with The Hill reporting that Rock (real name Robert Ritchie) now has a website devoted to his previously threatened U.S. Senate run. Rock confirmed on Twitter today that www.kidrockforsenate.com—which features a shot of Rock posing near an extremely distinguished-looking dead deer, and asking visitors “Are You Scared?”—is a real-as-fuck website, and that he’ll have a “major announcement” for fans of the upcoming political apocalypse sometime soon in our ongoing End Of Days.
Rock first abandoned the non-political, nonsensical principles of “Bawitdaba” during the Trump campaign, when he started selling clothing inspired by our current president’s rise to power. Trump repaid him with a visit to the White House earlier this year, where he got to rub unwashed tank top stink with folks like Ted Nugent, and bask in the dark side of the fact that, truly, anyone can be president of the United States. Shortly afterward, Rock began suggesting that he might run against popular three-time Michigan senator Debbie Stabenow when her most recent term is up in 2018.
And while we can continue to tell ourselves, “He’s just doing this to sell some hats and promote his brand” as many times as we want, that’s what we said last time, and now President Bad Handshake Man controls the world. So, yeah, obviously, Kid Rock is going to be president someday. Why the fuck not?
UPDATE: As commenters down below have pointed out, the link to the “Buy Now” page on the campaign site leads to Kid Rock’s store page at Warner Bros. Music, suggesting that this might just be a bit of viral marketing for some new, presumably patriotically-themed album. And while it’s a pretty depressing future when “a new Kid Rock album” is the least awful outcome for a piece of news, we can keep our fingers crossed that Ritchie is confining his actions to music, and not public policy, for a little while longer.
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