If you are on a reality show, you get a clothing line. Those are just the rules. (It's all part of the global societal conspiracy to make Bravo's Launch My Line that much more redundant.) And despite the fact that she looks like she dresses herself with a blender, JWowww from The Jersey Shore, aka Guido Zoo, is no exception. She has started her clothing line. You can tell by the way she titled a section of her website, "Clothing Line"
Wait, what? I'm not sure the process of getting on JWoww's website is explained thoroughly enough. How about: "Ladies, if you purchase, with American dollars, which is a kind of currency people use in order to buy goods and services, one of these shirts and would like to be on my website, take a picture of you in the shirt with a camera, which is a device for taking pictures, and then send it, by email, to JFarley@jennifarley.com!!!! You are now part of the nightmare!!"
So what, exactly, is in JWoww's clothing line? A shirt that looks like a polyester tear-drop, so it looks like your body is crying the moment you step into the club.
Basically, it's one of those chest sling tops easily found at Strawberry or the club-wear section of Wet Seal. Also, it appears to be a cartoon. Still, JWoww is probably going to sell hundreds of these possibly Mac-Painted things because she knows exactly who her customers are: People who dress for irony
"Sexy," "Edgy," "the scene" ? The joke has become the joker! It won't be long until there isn't even a joke anymore. One day soon we'll all be wearing our ironic chest-slings or Ed Hardy t-shirts, and we'll be imitating the Jersey Shore fist-pump to hilariously bad house music, and the thought will flicker across our minds, "Am I even kidding anymore?" And somewhere, in the radioactive pink dreamland of her own creation, JWoww will gleefully shake the knotted nest of rags sewn to the back of her head and laugh.
Either that or everyone will be wearing these at Temps this summer.