Everyone loves Olive Garden’s authentic take on Italian cuisine, but apparently those delicious orders of eggplant parmigiana, giant chicken alfredo roll-em-ups, and eight-cheese lobster-stuffed rigatoni poppers have been coming with some unexpected side dishes: unlimited soup, salad, and damnation. This latest threat to our mortal souls was first uncovered by the outrage aficionados at One Million Moms, who were offended by the fact that Olive Garden committed the sin of advertising during Fox’s Lucifer, a show that’s literally about how cool Satan is. That means Olive Garden must also think Satan is cool, and anyone who gives money to Olive Garden is complicit in Satan’s subjugation of the human race.
But rather than speak out against Lucifer, Fox, or Satan himself, One Million Moms has set its sights on Olive Garden and posted an entry on its official website titled “Tell Lucifer Sponsors: No More Sympathy For The Devil.” (The Rolling Stones reference there is probably just a coincidence.) The organization is calling for its followers to contact Olive Garden and inform whoever answers the phone/reads the Twitter mentions that the restaurant chain is “supporting sympathy towards the devil and glorifying Satan” and should “immediately” cut its ties to Lucifer. (That also sounds like a Rolling Stones reference, but is probably not one.)
One Million Moms doesn’t say what will happen if Olive Garden continues advertising during Lucifer, but a full-on boycott is almost certainly on the table. If that happens, they better hope that Papa John’s doesn’t start showing ads during the show as well, or else there’ll be nowhere left where One Million Moms can get that authentic Italian food they crave. Meanwhile, the executives at Fox are stomping their cloven hooves in excitement over all of this free publicity.
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