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One-woman reign of vegan terror is short lived

Chicken Run (Image: Dreamworks)
Chicken Run (Image: Dreamworks)

Ever since we entered the darkest timeline, people who’d rather not see our civilization crumble have been wondering what actions they can take to fend off the end of days. There are plenty of grassroots initiatives out there, including worthy causes you can donate to if you’ve been curled up in the fetal position since Election Day. But one Georgia woman decided she couldn’t simply sit back and let wrongdoings continue apace. According to 11 Alive, Judith Moriah Armstrong launched a one-woman war against the meat industry and omnivorous citizenry, by ramming a chicken truck with her car.

Armstrong, who later told police she’s a vegan, fled the scene to hole up at someone else’s home, where she presumably keeps a soapbox. After police tracked her down, Armstrong admitted that she left the crash site because she was worried about losing her license (she did blow the breathalyzer). But after further questioning, Armstrong—perhaps concerned that her act of civil unrest would get chalked up to bad driving—said she intentionally hit the other vehicle because “it was a chicken truck and she was a vegan.” She said nothing about trying to reenact the ending of Chicken Run, which is too bad, because that movie is funny and would maybe have earned her some points. For now, Armstrong’s facing hit-and-run charges, aggressive driving, driving under the influence, and obstruction.

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