Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, November 14. All times are Eastern.
Parks And Recreation (NBC, 8 p.m.): Our favorite civil servants are back for two brief, shining weeks—two new episodes tonight and two new episodes next week. NBC put the show on hiatus until 2014, but these four episodes were in production before the decision was made. Naturally, one is a Halloween episode, because when networks make big decisions, our national holidays suffer. It’s only two weeks late! You can still get into the holiday spirit, right? Alasdair Wilkins saved his Ron Swanson costume just for this occasion.
Once Upon A Time In Wonderland (ABC, 8 p.m.): It sounds like this show is just made of flashbacks—last week it was Jafar, and this week it’s Will and Anastasia, who recall their disenchantment with Wonderland when they first got there. Zack Handlen want Will and Anastasia to get. Out. Of his brain, man.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.): Sheldon overreacts to something (which is nothing new), but as Leonard fails to stop him overreacting, he has to walk a mile in Sheldon’s shoes. We hope that they are Sheldon’s literal shoes, and we doubly hope that those shoes are Vibram five-finger shoes, because that would be hilarious. Oliver Sava is tired of our bad jokes.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8 p.m.): Stefan has a heartbreaking confession for Damon and Elena. Rowan Kaiser asks: “How is this night different from all other nights?”
Reign (CW, 9 p.m.): Francis’ ex-girlfriend shows up, which does not sit well with Mary at all, because like, that’s her fiancée now, even if she doesn’t like him very much. Also, Bash accidentally pisses off a bunch of heretics, which sounds just like Caroline Framke’s morning.
Glee (Fox, 9 p.m.): Unfortunately, the Glee kids learn how to twerk. The episode is aptly titled “The End Of Twerk,” not because this is the last time twerking will ever be mentioned in the holy annals of What’s On Tonight, but because now that Mr. Schuster is going to inevitably twerk, Brandon Nowalk is going to invent a memory-deleting laser that will erase the word from our vocabulary, so that Mr. Schuster will never be seen doing something “cool” ever again.
The Returned (Sundance, 9 p.m.): This haunting French import is naming each episode after another dead person returned to the living. Tonight, “Julie.” Meanwhile, Adele admits that Simon is telling the truth, and Camille gets a new identity. Erik Adams is excited, and also kind of freaked out.
Michael J. Fox Show (NBC, 9 p.m.): Ian goes to homecoming at his girlfriend’s high school, and this seems like a good opportunity for Michael to talk to his son about college. Robert David Sullivan thinks college is pretty last season, but homecoming? Homecoming is in.
White Collar (USA, 9 p.m.): In a very special episode of Downton Abbey, Neal goes undercover as a butler to learn whatever butlers learn. The main mystery is who can afford a butler in 2013. Carrie Raisler would like a butler, if anyone is offering one.
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.): Rhys Ifans continues his guest-starring arc this week as Holmes’ brother Mycroft. He’s trying to get Holmes to move back to London, which seems like an unlikely plot twist. Still, we can’t stop Myles McNutt from feverishly writing Elementary fanfiction set in the late 1890s, with a gender-swapped Joan and, I don’t know, maybe Holmes could wear a deerstalker hat?
Scandal (ABC, 10 p.m.): This is an episode all about Mellie, which warms the cockles of our craven hearts, because around when Scandal took a turn for the certifiably insane we settled on Team Mellie for the long haul. Sonia Saraiya even had shirts made.
Parenthood (NBC, 10 p.m.): Some stuff happens to the Bravermans, and it’s either sad but quietly triumphant, or happy but sitrringly poignant. Todd VanDerWerff is working on some Parenthood Mad Libs.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (11 a.m.): Zack Handlen’s Outer Space Fictional Station Support Group will be meeting at the usual time, in the usual location. Participants are asked to please bring Vulcan ears, but also to not wear them.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
North Woods Law: On The Hunt (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): It’s moose season in Maine, but one warden is investigating the killing of a mother deer. Sure, why not.
The Assassination Of President Kennedy: (CNN, 9 p.m.): Yet another documentary special on the… well… we think you know what it’s about. Dan Rather and Robert McNeill are both interviewed, as are a few notable historians and Alexandra Zapruder, whose grandfather accidentally caught the assassination on film.
True Crime With Aphrodite Jones (Investigation Discovery, 9 p.m.): Aphrodite Jones investigates the 2005 murder of Rosemarie Essa. We hope one day Aphrodite Jones sets up shop in a private-eye outfit, with her name on the door, because that is a great name for detective work.
V (Syfy, 7 p.m.): Syfy is airing five episodes of this 2009 reboot of the original 1983 miniseries about aliens invading earth.
Say Yes To The Dress (TLC, marathon): Set your DVRs—TLC is airing the entire fourth season, from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. (Have you heard about how we’re obsessed with this show? Do you want to read an essay about it? Because it’s coming.)
A Dad For Christmas (LMN, 8 p.m.): Another heartwarming Lifetime original movie, in which “a teenager steals his infant son when his girlfriend decides to give the baby up for adoption.” Special!
Dirty Dancing (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.): Nobody puts this movie in a corner.
NBA Basketball: Rockers at Knicks (TNT, 8 p.m.): Jeremy Lin now plays for the Rockets, and last season he helped Houston sweep New York. Linsanity II: The Return Of Linsanity just hasn’t been that fun for the Knicks.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Arrow: Hey, this show is getting kind of good! Alasdair Wilkins has been tracking it as it settles into a comfortable and fun second-season niche. Last night a mysterious man with a threatening envelope showed up. Thrilling!