Drawing on the same primitive urge that makes kids dare each other to drink ranch dressing, ketchup, and chocolate syrup-based concoctions at slumber parties, Foodbeast has translated 24 of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ grossest pizza orders into actual, theoretically palatable pies. Now “chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce” and “anchovies and hot fudge” are not just flights of pizza fancy to inspire the 10-year-old prankster in all of us, but recipes that author Peter Pham boasts are “something you could actually order at a restaurant.” Happily, Pham reports that although “the jelly beans had us stumped” when creating the jelly beans and sausage recipe, the salami pizza with double yogurt “goes down pretty tastily” once “you can get over the idea of salami and yogurt.” Highlights from the challenge are below, and all 24 pies can be viewed—with commentary—here.
Tuna fish, peanut butter, and grape jelly: “Went more for color than taste. Ending up tasting great so that worked itself out.”
Strawberry with anchovy sauce: “This one was the most difficult to come up with. Thankfully, whipped cream saved the day.”
Pepperoni and marshmallows: “The marshmallows look like haunting little lifeboats on a sea of pepperoni.”
Chocolate fudge with extra garlic: “Definitely not something you’d order on a first date, but then again, are any of these pizzas?”