A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire TV Club
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios
Get The Latest

Procedural refugee Laurence Fishburne finds a safe home in Man Of Steel

The Zack Snyder Wildlife Refuge For Former Procedural Stars has cleared a space for Laurence Fishburne, EW reports, with the CSI exile finding safe harbor alongside Law And Order: SVU defector Christopher Meloni, and the two using their time together to make peace with all the rape and mutilation they’ve witnessed in the name of entertaining the 50 and older demographic. Fishburne will join Snyder’s Man Of Steel as Daily Planet editor Perry White, no doubt bringing his unflappable, stoic cool to facing both interstellar threats and the encroaching death of the newspaper industry. Still no word on whether there will be a Jimmy Olsen, but we do know that Lisa Edelstein also needs a good home, Zack Snyder, so maybe consider a gender-swap? That is, if you can find it in your heart. Don’t make us get Sarah McLachlan out here.

Submit your Newswire tips here.