Random Rules: Patrick Warburton

Random Rules: Patrick Warburton

The shuffler: Patrick Warburton is often called in when a not-all-there column of muscle is needed, but he's made a comic niche out of the roles he's been typecast into. Formerly Seinfeld's meatheaded David Puddy and star of the live-action version of The Tick, he's probably best-loved now as the voice of wheelchair-bound cop Joe Swanson on Family Guy and mammoth bodyguard Brock Samson on The Venture Bros. He'll soon be co-starring with David Spade in the new CBS comedy Rules Of Engagement, which premières February 5 and airs Mondays at 9:30 ET/ 8:30 CT.

Ozzy Osbourne, "Over The Mountain"

Patrick Warburton: I love Ozzy, from the old Black Sabbath days. I actually got to work onstage security with him at the US '83 Festival in San Bernadino. I got recruited with a bunch of guys from the college crew team and football team. One day was heavy-metal day and we had Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Van Halen, and just a lot of metal bands. I've always been a fan of Ozzy, and now my kids are, too. It's really strange, seeing what they're gravitating toward.

Journey, "Faithfully"

PW: A great song, not my favorite Journey song. "Send Her My Love" is one of my favorite Journey tunes. They were the chick band that it was okay to dig as a guy. And if that's not the case, I'm saying that that's the case right now, all right? Doesn't make me gay. So there's a little Journey on there. Big effin' deal. I heard the tone of your voice change. Listen, you're judging me.

U2, "I Will Follow"

PW: U2 was also onstage at the US '83 concert that I worked, and Bono climbed to the very top of the stage on a rope. If he'd fallen, he would have fallen to his death. He was much more physical in those days. I don't remember the shades, and he wasn't quite as stylish back then, but he was more exciting to watch. A little less lights-camera-action at that time. And it was just very exciting to see U2 live.

Georges Bizet, "Prelude, Act 1, from Carmen"

PW: It's some good old classical stuff. This might have "Bolero" on it, which is one of my favorite classical pieces. I'm not much of an opera guy, but every now and then… I've been known to listen to a little bit of everything. I love "Bolero," it's got kind of a fantastic build to it. Every time I listen to it, I sort of picture in my imagination desert sand and a heat wave, and slowly off in the distance, the heads of soldiers coming over the sand as they march over. It was probably an image in a movie, that's probably where that came from.

U2, "Angel Of Harlem"

PW: Can't really stand it. I love U2, so I've got a lot of U2 on here, but there's stuff that really did nothing for me. It almost annoys me. It has nothing to do with the lyrics. It's the sound. If you go back to songs like "Rejoice," and "I Will Follow," and "Gloria," and stuff off The Joshua Tree, these are songs that move me and were exciting to listen to, and a lot of this stuff, it just seemed like they were filling up space with it. That's horribly judgmental, and without any real perspective other than that I just don't like the sound, and I realize that and I will apologize for that, but that's where I stand, damn it.

Phil Collins, "In The Air Tonight"

PW: One of the great, most-imitated drum riffs of all time. Throughout the years, I've loved hearing everybody's story about the person they knew who was at the concert, that heard Phil talk about the guy he saw drown that fateful night. One of the very first urban legends, I think, at least of our day and age, is attached to "In The Air Tonight." You listen to the lyrics of that song, and you get drunk or stoned with somebody, and someone they knew heard Phil share a story one night at a concert that he'd never shared before, about a man he knew who he saw drown, and there was another guy there that he knew, who let him drown. [Laughs.] It's just so absurd. This will come back and bite me: "Yeah, Pat, uh, that did happen, and I don't know if you read Rolling Stone last month, 'cause Phil explained the whole story and you got half of it right, ya ass!" Same guy that was there was with Richard Gere in the hospital. [Laughs.]

The Cure, "Let's Go To Bed"

PW: I always liked The Cure, but this is something that my wife stuck on here that I said I wouldn't want to. Bitch. I tell you what, if there's any Soft Cell on here, someone's gonna get a smack. I swear to God, if I find any Boy George or Cyndi Lauper, somebody's gonna get a beating, and, uh, yeah. After a while, [The Cure] is just a whole bunch of whining. But it's good whining.

The Cult, "Heart Of Soul"

PW: I had a phenomenal 40th-birthday party. I never have birthdays, ever. They're very small gatherings, but for my 40th, I wanted to have a big bash. I thought I deserved it. I decided to put this party together because I didn't think my wife would have skills in that area, and I wanted to get some jammin' band in the backyard. I thought it'd be good to get a cover band, somebody who could play some good Pearl Jam stuff. The pieces fell together 'cause this makeup artist I was working with actually knew Jerry Cantrell and told him what a big fan I was, and she also knew Billy Duffy. These guys were getting together with some other musicians just to have some fun and play some dates. She asked them if they would have any interest in coming and playing for a huge fan's birthday party. Of course, I threw 'em a few bucks, but it was a favor, 'cause they didn't charge me that much. I had two rock gods play in my backyard for my 40th birthday, and they were so cool and gracious. Jerry and I are buddies now, I play poker at his house on Wednesday nights every now and then. It's really cool for me, 'cause I was such a geek growing up. I didn't know any rock stars until now. Now I know one, and he's a cool guy, and down-to-earth. It's a good excuse to get out of the house on Wednesday nights and go play some poker, and my wife can't say no.

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