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Randy Jackson would like a talk show now, please

Randy Jackson, the cardigan-clad Mount Olympus from which the Gods’ judgment of who is “just aight” flows, is currently shopping a daytime talk show concept, according to The Hollywood Reporter. That concept, as described by an “insider” who also appears to be subtly mocking him, is that Jackson “wants to talk about things that will be hip next. He thinks he has his finger on the pulse.” It’s unclear so far as to how Jackson plans to find these next hip things on a daily basis, then spend an hour each day pressing his meaty digits against the nation’s jugular until its bloodstream backs up and explodes in an arterial geyser of hipness all over pop culture. But if his long tenure on American Idol is any indication, we think it will have something to do with reminding people that he worked with Whitney Houston. Also unclear: How Jackson plans to host a talk show when he’s only been programmed with nine different phrases.

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