Unfortunately timed for a day marked by the generous donation of The White Stripes to the people, other living Beatle Ringo Starr has asked the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to officially trademark the name “Ringo.” Specifically, Starr’s application sets aside the “Ringo” name for usage in video games, as well as “toys, plush toys, stuffed toys, and board games,” thereby scuttling your retirement plans to peddle Ringo Starr-shaped sock monkeys on Etsy. What are you going to do with all those Ringo Monkeys? Give them to Goodwill, we guess. Of course, this announcement has already caused some speculation that Starr plans to launch his own solo Ringo video game, which we imagine would be a lot like The Beatles: Rock Band, only gameplay would involve sitting patiently through songs from Ringo The 4th until the “Yellow Submarine” level is unlocked.
Submit your Newswire tips here.