Like most people, comedian and VICE columnist Rob Delaney was shocked to learn that Kim Kardashian had filed for divorce from Kris Humphries a mere 72 days into her marriage, suggesting that the incessant attention surrounding its planning, execution, and now crumbling were all just a calculated ploy for Kim Kardashian to get attention for doing nothing. Delaney obviously expected more from Kim Kardashian, but rather than simply no longer believing in love like the rest of us, he’s taking a more proactive strategy by threatening to sue Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest (who produces the myriad Kardashian reality shows), E! Entertainment Television, and Comcast for perpetrating their whole “wedding” ruse for the sake of ratings, breaking the nation's collective heart in the process.
Claiming it’s “not a joke,” Delaney offers some very honest observations in his still-probably-a-joke lawsuit, pointing out that Kardashian’s wedding was a grotesquely lavish affair that ate up the airwaves for months and was exploited for every last ad dollar, with Delaney noting that Kardashian herself is alleged to have received $18 million just for participating. “I feel like schools could use that money,” Delaney says. “Or health clinics in areas hit hardest by the recession. Or Pizza Hut. Or Bernie Madoff. Or my uncle Mitchell, who is a convicted sex offender making a living selling Percocet to the elderly in Rhode Island.” And again, it sounds like he’s joking, but again, Delaney insists he’s not. And his interjections at this very sensitive time will probably really hurt Kim Kardashian’s feelings, whenever she’s scheduled to have those next. [via @RobDelaney]