Decrying the desperate grasping at straws, made-up controversies, and hyperbolic comparisons that some pundits will resort to in order to influence their easily manipulated audience, Rush Limbaugh spent today's radio show pointing out that The Dark Knight Rises' main villain, Bane, shares a name with Mitt Romney's venture capital company Bain, suggesting that the parallel is part of an intentional Democratic plot to force you to think about the connection that he himself was making. It all began in 1993, when comics writer Chuck Dixon entered a conspiracy with the strategists plotting Obama's future socialist regime to create a supervillain and name him after the firm where Romney worked, all so the character would inevitably appear in a movie that would be released the summer preceding their predestined election face-off. As Limbaugh elucidated, while surrounded by shards of looking glass:
Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is. That's right, Dark Knight Rises, Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there's now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time. The release date's been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire-breathing four-eyed whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bain?
Indeed, do you think? Even though Dixon himself, obviously still under the omerta of Obama (notice that they begin and end in the same letters!), called the suggestion "ridiculous," the arch note of disbelief in Limbaugh's voice suggests that you would be naïve to think otherwise of the four-eyed fire-breathing guy whatever-it-is. "A lot of people are gonna see the movie, and it's a lot of brain-dead people—entertainment, the pop culture crowd—and they're gonna hear 'Bane' in the movie and they're gonna associate 'Bain'," Limbaugh said of the plot to beguile the mindless masses who parrot dumbed-down ideas couched in simplified phrases and use them to form all their political opinions. Indeed, he added, you "have to plan on the fact" that said "brain-dead people" are likely to turn up at the polls to vote a defiant "No" against Batman villains.
Of course, it's a theory that Limbaugh has already been proven correct on, as Democratic advisors like Christopher Lehane really have begun pointing out the connection—a strategy which Limbaugh is now denouncing by pointing out the connection. "You may think it's ridiculous, I'm just telling you this is the kind of stuff the Obama team is lining up," Limbaugh said while also speculating that Bane is actually "a terrorist... an Occupy Wall Street guy" and quoting at length from a college student's web article comparing Romney to Batman. Moving back to the Bane/Bain nexus, Limbaugh concluded, "The kind of people who would draw this comparison are the kind of people that they are campaigning to. These are the kind of people that they are attempting to appeal to," really sticking it to those blathering idiots who would actually believe there is some deeper connection between The Dark Knight Rises and the coming election and make a huge, stupid deal out of it.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org