For over a decade, a great fraud has been perpetrated upon the American people, a long con which has convinced them that the dementia-themed Nicholas Sparks adaptation The Notebook was a document of true and everlasting love. “Not so!” say the crusading muckrakers of VH1, who have uncovered evidence—confirmed by Nick Cassavetes, the ringleader of this conspiracy of deceit—that the film was, in fact, a work of fiction, and that its main characters were actually actors working in the ego-stoking, high-pressure environment of a Hollywood movie set.
As revealed in an interview leaked directly to VH1 journalist Emily Exton, the movie’s central couple, Noah and Allie, were in fact a pair of bickering Canadian actors named Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, who were hired for the express purpose of pretending to be in love. The New Line Cinema-perpetrated hoax not only obscured Gosling and McAdams’ identities by having them refer to each other by different names, but also hid the fact that the two did not get along, with Gosling at one point reportedly begging Cassavetes to replace his “true love” with a different actress.
“Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off camera with me?” Cassavetes quotes Gosling as saying. “He says, ‘I can’t. I can’t do it with her. I’m just not getting anything from this.’” Their problems were apparently only resolved after a session of “screaming and yelling,” which allowed them to continue their ruse of being in love in a movie.
It’s difficult to say what kind of ramifications this bombshell will have on the moviegoing public. Will they ever be able to trust a love story—or love—again? If two people are paid to pretend to love each other, and then have a real-life relationship, is that relationship not built on lies? Is anything truly “real?” Only time will tell.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org