Sadness, I've Got Your Number

Sadness, I've Got Your Number

Buy "867-5309" on eBay. Never stop crying.

In these tough economic times, it's important to invest your money wisely—like in the phone number manifestation of moldy 80s nostalgia bought from a DJ on eBay.

Description:

Selling my DJ company with the most famous phone number in HISTORY....  867-5309!
Company: A Blast Entertainment Inc.
Phone: (201) 867-5309
This is one of the LAST remaining 867-5309 numbers in service. Receives between 8,000-10,000 Calls Per Year!!
 

So far the bidding has reached $400,100.00. Hopefully at least two-thirds of that is in value-appraised hug coupons, and the other third is Disney dollars and a "Star Has Been Purchased In Your Name" certificate, because no grown-up should be spending actual money on an eBay auction for a phone number popularized by a song by Tommy Tutone.

Of course, there are other items included in the auction. Should you win the opportunity to pay grotesque sums of money for "867-5309" you also get the following:

--A DJ business, based in New Jersey, called "A Blast Entertainment Inc"

--Thousands upon thousands of nuisance phone calls from people who just left Maximum 80s Karaoke Nite.

--A gaping hole where your dignity used to be.

--Regret.

--Hundreds of variations on the question, "You must really like Tommy Tutone, huh?"

--An invisible, but very heavy cloak weaved from America's collective disgust.

According to CNN, the seller has had some great experiences being a semi-professional prank call recipient. In fact, he even got an imaginary girlfriend because of the phone number:

When he did answer a call three years ago, Spencer Potter, [a 28-year-old DJ who is selling the number] found his own Jenny on the line.

"She had been using my number to give out to guys that she didn't like at bars," he said. "It was a bum phone number."

The young lady from Hoboken, New Jersey, told Potter she was just curious about who might be getting the calls. Potter ended up asking her out.

"I figured if she was having to give out a bum number that often then she was probably pretty cute," he said. "We ended up meeting for drinks. We dated for awhile and it was actually a great friendship."

Sure you did, Spencer. Because girls give out famous, and therefore very obvious, fake phone numbers all the time. Personally, I give out "911".  On occasion I'll even call that number just to see who answers, and you know what? Someone always does!

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