We’ve known since May that Breaking Bad would find a new life in Latin America, much as Walter White did in the surprise, post-credits epilogue that your DVR cut off from Sunday’s finale. (Call your cable provider and complain until they agree to air it!) Now we have our first look at Metastasis, the Colombia-set remake that’s set to air through Univision in America, and translate Breaking Bad into Spanish as faithfully and accurately as a high-school freshman who’s just trying to get through his workbook here.
For starters, meet the new Walter White—or as he’s known to both native Spanish-speakers and the people making obvious jokes that nevertheless prove true, “Walter Blanco.” He’s also a cancer-stricken chemistry teacher who turns to cooking methamphetamine to support his family. He also wears tighty-whities (or, as they’re known in Colombia, “tighty blancos”).
Now meet the rest of the ensemble, whose names, occupations, and baldness have all been recreated with a little extra Latin American flavor. For instance, “Henry” likes flashy vests and necklaces. “Cielo” (from the Spanish word for “sky”) earns a spicier form of misogynistic ire. “Jose” still wears hoodies, because he’s a criminal.
However, there will be one, slightly bigger difference, besides the fact that Walter is cooking meth in Colombia and somehow this deserves special attention: “Motor homes are not popular in Colombia,” says Angelica Guerra, Sony’s managing director of production for Latin America, “so audiences will see Walter and Jose cooking up their first several batches of methamphetamine in an old, barely drivable school bus.” Because in Colombia, apparently no one would think twice about setting up a meth lab inside a big, yellow bus that’s covered in windows, but using one of those unpopular RVs would strain credibility.