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Science determines that the Friends gang drank enough coffee to kill them several times over

As it turns out, there is a very good reason for that rumored Friends reunion not happening, besides it being a bad idea that exists only as baseless rumor. That reason: Science, which says that all of the Friends should probably be dead of caffeine overdoses, due to all the coffee that they ingested over 10 seasons of the show.

Finally bored of the animal kingdom, Scientific American instead analyzed the many humorously oversized mugs of coffee the Friends gang consumed while they selfishly monopolized the couch at Central Perk, basing its data on the assumption that each Friend drank at least two 20-ounce drinks per episode, for 236 episodes total. And while one may ask, “Could their reasoning be any more dubious?” while looking around in vain for someone who finds that funny, the magazine’s conclusion is that Joey, Chandler, Monica et al. drank around 445 gallons of coffee apiece over the course of the series, ingesting somewhere close to three pounds of caffeine—enough to “send almost 300 people to the hospital—if not outright kill them.”

Of course, this only counts if that coffee is consumed all at once, which it definitely was not on the show. Nor would it be in real life, seeing as you’re chicken. But for those who have sometimes wondered “what the Friends would be up to today,” you now have a reasonable, pseudo-scientific basis for deciding they all keeled over from cardiac arrhythmia a long time ago. [via Vulture]

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