Scientology may have had something to do with Tom Cruise's divorce, according to crazy new theory that is crazy

Scientology may have had something to do with Tom Cruise's divorce, according to crazy new theory that is crazy

There have been many perfectly reasonable explanations posited about why Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced, including: the possibility of a Rock Of Ages-related curse, the strange numerological significance of Cruise always divorcing his wives after they turn 33, the idea that Cruise may be a bizarre control freak whose marriage to Holmes was nothing but a business transaction, pursued through a calculated vetting process to create both a suitable heir and the illusion that he has recognizably human feelings, etc. But perhaps none are so crazy as the theory floated by TMZ, who claims that Holmes ultimately chose to walk away because she'd had enough of Scientology and the way it held sway over every single aspect of her life. Which is indeed crazy. After all, who would ever turn away from the warm embrace of their church like that, just because it is sinister, steeped in secrecy, based on an especially fantastical mythology that demands cult-like blind faith and increasingly strange behavior, and has a history of intimidating and silencing its critics?

And yet, that is the totally crazy hypothesis that some have concocted, with TMZ reporting that Holmes ultimately ended the relationship because she was concerned that Cruise was preparing to send daughter Suri away to Sea Org—essentially a Scientology boot/forced labor camp where members as young as 5-years-old are asked to sign a "one-billion-year pledge" of eternal service. Lending credence to their idea that Holmes fled to protect her daughter: Us Weekly reported that weeks earlier, Holmes had already secured an apartment in New York—a state more likely to grant her sole custody of Suri—and only filed for divorce once Cruise was far away, filming Oblivion in Iceland. But surely there are other, ineffable factors at work here, like the way love sometimes becomes brittle and fragile until it finally cracks, as though a pressed wildflower? Or the way summer hangs heady with the promise of rebirth?

But no, the media seems pretty intently focused on this whole "not wanting to turn my 6-year-old into a Scientology robot" and "trying to escape the clutches of a fanatical church" silliness, which it's now backing up with reported sightings of a mysterious "team of beefy armed men" who spent the weekend parked outside Holmes' apartment in a white Escalade, snapping pictures and interviewing passerby. Or the fact that said men were neither journalists nor part of Holmes' security detail—which she recently replaced completely, after firing a longtime staff that was "too close to Cruise"—or that Holmes claims she's actually been tailed by Scientology agents for weeks now. Some, like Rupert Murdoch, have even gone so far as to say things like, "Watch Katie Holmes and Scientology story develop. Something creepy, maybe even evil, about these people"—which is an especially damning assessment coming from Rupert Murdoch.

And yet, Church of Scientology spokesperson Greg Soter has officially said they are not tailing Katie Holmes, which should immediately end any and all speculation about their involvement. After all, when two hearts grow apart, isn't it oh so easy to blame the disquietingly authoritarian Church that rules every single aspect of your life and punishes you severely for pulling away? Aren't we all just a little bit guilty of that? Let's stop paying the blame game, everybody.

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