Scrambled Egg

Technos Japan first invaded arcades with 1982's Minky Monkey, a weird, spectacularly difficult little game that freaked players out with the message "Failure to complete five messages, lose a life." Their sophomore effort Scrambled Egg was twice as fun, but 15 billion times as weird.

Gameplay: You are a giant-eyed red hamburger called HERO=BOSS, running around in a maze while on a mission to kick a bunch of eggs and release their chickens. If you can't accept this, you should just move along to a nice, safe game of air hockey, because we haven't even gotten to your enemies: the Sukiyaki Brothers (a two-legged spool of wire, a walking pancake, an 8-bit version of The Simpsons' Bumblebee Guy, and a four-legged cassette tape) and Big Tuna Head, who is best described as an LSD-inspired combination of Pac-Man and Patricia Quinn's lips from the opening credits of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Each egg must be hit three times before the chicken comes out, and it won't fly away until you literally kick it in the ass. The Sukiyaki Brothers have some sort of amazing reverse-breaking ability that allows them to kick the eggs and undo all your hard work. You can stun them by shooting your eyes at them, or by hitting them with a kicked egg. Big Tuna Head is immune to your eyes, but not the eggs. Though most of the chickens are yellow, if you can free and catch the red one, he'll race around the maze, freeing chickens and tormenting the Sukiyaki Brothers.

Could be mistaken for: Mysterious Stones, Trog, an unreleased PETA commercial

Kids today might not like it because: Big Tuna Head will give them nightmares.

Kids today might like it because: They can't pass up an opportunity to thrust themselves into the eternal Sukiyaki Brothers/HERO=BOSS conflict they've heard so much about on The Internets.

Enduring contribution to gaming history: After Scrambled Eggs, Technos gave us such classics as Mat Mania, Double Dragon, and Super Dodge Ball.

 

And Wil Wheaton said "Let there be lips!"