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Seeking only the most stable of actors, Sylvester Stallone hires Mel Gibson for The Expendables 3

After establishing that he only wants to work with the most reliable, humble actors in his film about famous men agreeing to show up for a few days, Sylvester Stallone has officially confirmed that Mel Gibson will play the chief antagonist in The Expendables 3. Gibson, who has some experience with antagonizing groups of people, will take on Stallone’s aging action-star ensemble—a continuation of villain roles like the upcoming Machete Kills, in which he’s righteously punished for his insane, reprehensible behavior (albeit in a way where he also gets lots of money and it’s fake). Also joining the cast is Stallone’s Assassins co-star Antonio Banderas, whom Stallone called “a consummate actor and a gentleman” in a statement that, like all future Stallone compliments, should be mentally appended with “not like that asshole Bruce Willis. Even Mel Gibson’s better than that guy!” 

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