Ever since retiring from the NBA, Shaquille O’Neal has dropped only hints about what direction his career might take next, spending most of his days having pleasant conversations with his fans on Twitter, posting pictures of his various surgeries, and, presumably, keeping up with his Shaq Fu training. But today it’s been revealed what the O’Neal who can’t do a sweet 360 dunk like some other O’Neals will be doing, and in retrospect it seems pretty obvious: He’ll join fellow former NBA star Charles Barkley on TNT’s commentator team, providing analysis and most likely random interjections of the word “baby” during the upcoming season (provided the lockout doesn’t keep it from happening, of course).
Which, admittedly, isn’t all that interesting, except his new contract with Turner also includes development deals for both its “entertainment and animation networks.” As the press release notes, Shaq is “a member of the Screen Actor’s Guild, with entertainment credits including a number of roles and executive producer credits in both television and film.” Now, granted, most of those roles were just Shaq playing himself or other, Shaq-like basketball players in movies such as Blue Chips, Scary Movie 4, and the upcoming Jack And Jill, as well as on TV shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm. But, we needlessly remind you, he also starred in a little, though very loud film called Kazaam, which seems tailor-made for a cartoon.
Unfortunately, it seems like that’s not going to happen: “Kazaam is back in the bottle and gone forever,” Shaq said in a recent interview, most likely answering a question he hears at least 10 times a week. So we must proceed to our next, most logical choice—a TV adaptation of his ghetto Iron Man sci-fi thriller Steel, a film whose messages about inner-city violence and M.C. Hammer-related puns are timelier than ever.