Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, July 30. All times are Eastern.
Sharknado 2 (Syfy, 9 p.m.): After raining improbable carnage on the greater Los Angeles area last summer, Syfy’s most hashtag-ready weather phenomenon turns its many lifeless eyes (black eyes, like a doll’s eyes, all of which are swirling around and around and around and around) toward New York City. Sharknado 2 takes a bite out of The Big Apple, but not before munching on a litany of B- and C-level celebrities we’re not at liberty (not at Statue Of Liberty?) to recount here. The A.V. Club’s official Sharknado correspondent, Caroline Framke, believes New York is a concrete jungle where dreams are made of, where there’s nothing you can’t do—especially if you’re a shark in a tornado.
CELEBRITIES SPARED BY THE SECOND SHARKNADO (NO PROMISES ABOUT THE THIRD ONE)
The June Taylor Dancers
Rip Van Winkle
The cast of National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, minus Tara Reid
The 1986 World Champion New York Mets
Penn & Teller: Fool Us (The CW, 8 p.m.): Penn & Teller made it out of the Sharknado alive, if the debut date of their new primetime magic competition is any indication.
The Director’s Chair (El Rey, 9 p.m.): Guillermo Del Toro sits down as the first interview subject in Robert Rodriguez’s Director’s Chair. Questions for Del Toro will presumably include “Where do you get your ideas?” and “Why are none of those ideas Sharknado?”
Extant (CBS, 10 p.m.): Halle Berry sci-fi series moves to a new timeslot, for reasons What’s On Tonight can only attribute to the Sharknado.
MORE PEOPLE WHO MANAGED TO GET OUT OF THE WAY OF SHARKNADO 2
Former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani
Bell Biv Devoe
Paulie’s robot from Rocky IV
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Hot In Cleveland (TV Land, 10 p.m.): Every long-running sitcom reaches that age at which you either have to do an animated episode, or enlist an aging rocker like Steven Tyler for a cameo. In Hot In Cleveland’s case, it did both in a single half-hour, the best work from an animated Tyler since the release of Revolution X.
The Place Beyond The Pines (HBO2, 8 p.m.): After Ryan Gosling drove for a living (and performed a handful of other, specialized tasks) in Drive, he took to pulling heists on a motorcycle in this film. The only drawback: No bad-ass signature jacket this time around.
Escape From New York (Sundance, 8 p.m.): You’d want to escape from New York, too, if you knew there was a Sharknado headed your way.
MLB Baseball: Angels at Orioles (ESPN, 7 p.m.): The Angels narrowly avoided a sweep the last time these two teams met. They look to escape a similar fate in the second game of this stand in Baltimore, a city protected from sharknados by the Chesapeake Bay—a region that isn’t immune to the occasional serving of Lobster Hail.
A FINAL LIST OF NOTABLE PEOPLE WHO KNEW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH A SHARKNADO
Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger
The Captain And Tennille
Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe
William Shatner, somehow
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
Are you hanging out? Perhaps hanging out down the street? Doing the same old thing you did last week? Well cut it out and join Erik Adams in the basement for his 100 Episodes appreciation of That ’70s Show. He promises to make it worth your while—by which he means everybody’s going to sit in a circle that implies the consumption of illicit substances without ever showing those illicit substances.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Nathan For You: At last, a dumb stunt that’s dumber than dumb ol’ Sharknado 2: The TV debut of Dumb Starbucks. Pull up a dumb seat, grab yourself a dumb latte, and an enjoy a review by John Teti that’s anything but dumb.