Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul will reprise their arsenic and old, vodka-soaked lace chemistry for Cowell’s forthcoming X Factor, the latest American import of a foreign reality show. Remember when we used to manufacture our own reality shows? Now the reality-show factories are at a standstill, their conveyor belts loaded with dust-gathering, half-completed hot tubs and former MTV VJs yellowing in the sun. Anyway, Abdul will bring her usual tottering charm to a cast that also includes Pussycat Doll turned former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, producer L.A. Reid, and British pop person Cheryl Cole, who will all locate and mentor the few remaining amateur singers not currently being served by all the other singing competition shows on the air. In confirming her new job, Abdul made one of those statements where she pretended like she hated Simon Cowell and didn’t want to sit next to him because he’s so mean and so on and so forth.