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So, uh, anyone else just watch Trump’s batshit press conference?

(Photo: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images)
(Photo: Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images)

In a performance that was as much theater as it was politics, Donald Trump went hard against his old (false) enemies the media in a press conference on Thursday afternoon. Though the conference was ostensibly being held to announce Trump’s new, non-Andy Puzder pick for Labor Secretary, things went off the rails quickly—and justifiably—when Trump opened the floor to reporter questions. Spurred on by questions that should be fairly easy for any president or politician to answer, Trump went off on tangents about how “drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars” and quickly contradicted himself in statements about his media consumption, saying, for instance:

Trump also somehow equated his ratings and his self-worth, saying “I’m really not a bad person, by the way… I do get good ratings, you have to admit that,” and then sought out a reporter he thought might have a “nice question.” He also said his “nuclear holocaust would be like no other” and stated that, while “there is one part of Chicago which is luxurious and safe,” there’s another “that is worse than certain cities in the middle east.” He also brought up his Electoral votes, because that’s what he does, and asked a black reporter if she was “friends” with the Congressional Black Caucus, because all black people know each other in the eyes of our illustriously orange commander in chief.

In summary, we’re all fucked. Build your bunkers now, and make hay while the sun shines. At this rate, we won’t be here for much longer. You can watch video of the whole crazy thing courtesy of The New York Times below (note: Trump himself doesn’t actually show up until 35 minutes in).

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