Sofia Vergara becomes part of the never-ending wish fulfillment that is Machete Kills

Sofia Vergara becomes part of the never-ending wish fulfillment that is Machete Kills

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As Robert Rodriguez is nothing if not channeling man's collective id, the director will fulfill another unconscious wish in Machete Kills by adding Sofia Vergara, who joins the already-confirmed Jessica Alba, Amber Heard, and Michelle Rodriguez in stoking those pleasure receptors untouched by all the glorious violence. Variety notes that Vergara will play the "leather-clad" Madame Desdemona, then continues saying words anyway by noting that she is the madam of a brothel of "Mexican harlots" who have the information that Danny Trejo's Machete needs to stop Mel Gibson's arms dealer, as well as the leather-bound harlot-ness to distract from any uncomfortable feelings about Mel Gibson. "Hi, Sofia Vergara? I want you to dress up in leather and be my whore," is a phone call only Robert Rodriguez gets to make.

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