In news that arrives far too late to prevent your bumbling, cross-country journey through national landmarks and the treacherous back streets of East St. Louis, Six Flags Magic Mountain has announced it’s closing Colossus, the roller coaster made famous by its appearance in National Lampoon’s Vacation. “Colossus, the king of wooden coasters, ends its 36-year reign on August 16,” the park said in a statement, bringing to a close a ride that was once one of the world’s fastest and tallest, and easily its most well-known for a young Anthony Michael Hall preventing John Candy from barfing on it. It’s also been seen in episodes of Knight Rider, Wonder Woman, The A-Team, and Doogie Howser, M.D., and in the opening credits sequence of Step By Step, though even this was not enough to grant Colossus permanent national landmark status, apparently, as the roller coaster will finish its run this August. Better begin your own, slow-motion run toward it now.
As reassurance to fans of National Lampoon’s European Vacation, England is expected to remain open.