Steve Carell is now squarely in the “family-friendly” phase of his career, as Disney has signed him up for what the studio is calling, with a straight face, a “family adventure comedy with heart.” Plot details on Brooklyn Family Robinson are being kept under wraps at the moment, except that Carell relocates his family from the big city to an island that is probably not Staten. Also, the title is reminiscent of Disney’s Swiss Family Robinson, so this isn’t all that difficult to figure out.
The script is at least in good hands, with Finding Nemo co-writer David Reynolds developing a story he came up with alongside Carell’s producing partner Charlie Hartsock, as well as Carell’s former Daily Show colleague Vance DeGeneres.
Until Disney is forthcoming with story details, we can only speculate that in the film, Carell and his family will get priced out of Brooklyn due to rising gentrification and move to an uninhabited island, but find that, before you can say “artisanal beard grooming supplies,” a swarm of twentysomethings invade, all desperate to say they lived there “before it was cool.” Before long, the island’s vintage typewriter store and gallery-slash-performance spaces get pushed out to make room for a Bath & Body Works and a Container Store, the youngsters flee for a really authentic-feeling rent-stabilized coral reef, and Carell and his family are left to fend off a wave of trust fund babies. The third act then takes the form of a zombie movie, with Carell arming his wife and children to fight off the trust fund babies with shotguns, axes, and whatever weapons come to hand, hoping to destroy the monsters before the entire island is turned into a Citibank.
Again, we’re just speculating. There’s still a chance that none of that will happen, and that there will be some shenanigans involving Carell getting bonked on the head with a coconut.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org