In the greatest combination of liquor and the mall food court since that time you drank a bunch of liquor and went to the mall food court, noted alcohol confectioners Pinnacle have announced the release of Cinnabon Vodka—a vodka that, at last, you don’t have to combine with Cinnabon yourself. Described as boasting “decadent flavors of cinnamon, brown sugar and rich cream cheese frosting with hints of caramel”—flavors that were, until now, notably missing from ordinary vodka—Cinnabon vodka is not-so-subtly being targeted at women, Ad Age reports, whose increased interest in sweetly flavored booze has convinced distillers that dames will drink anything, even a vodka that tastes like hot cream cheese.
Cinnabon vodka will be rolled out on January 1 (conveniently, the day when America already doesn’t feel like drinking, thanks), and supported with “a national sampling tour targeting ‘various brunch and happy-hour soirees,’” which it will then ruin with Cinnabon vodka. It is expected that some poor bastard, probably me, will have to Taste Test it for this very website. God damn it.
The transformation of vodka into liquid Cinnabon is believed to be the second-most controversial redesign of the week.