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Sucky Jay Leno announces sucky guests for his sucky return

You'd think Jay Leno would want some powerhouses to bolster his return to The Tonight Show on March 1, wouldn't you? But maybe everybody with a soul left in Hollywood wasn't available. Instead, peep this safe, snoozy lineup.

March 1: Jamie Foxx, Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, and Brad Paisley (Holy shit, he got PAISLEY!?!?)

March 2: Sarah Palin, Shaun White

March 3: "Jaywalk All-Stars" with the cast of Jersey Shore, plus Chelsea Handler, a speed-skater, and Avril Lavigne

This, my friends, is appointment TV. Appointment with pretty much any other channel.

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