Never one to be outdone by Sinead O’Connor or Amanda Palmer, Sufjan Stevens has penned his own open letter to Miley Cyrus. Fortunately, rather than lecture Cyrus on the correct use of her body or feminist theory, Stevens uses his letter to take Cyrus to school—literally. Stevens calls out Cyrus for her misuse of laying/lying in “#GetItRight,” a song that, despite its obvious grammatical flaws, he says is “great,” and has a “great message.” Quoth Stevens,
“One particular line causes concern: “I been laying in this bed all night long.” Miley, technically speaking, you’ve been LYING, not LAYING, an irregular verb form that should only be used when there’s an object, i.e. “I been laying my tired booty on this bed all night long.” Whatever. I’m not the best lyricist, but you know what I mean. #Get It Right The Next Time. But don’t worry, even Faulkner messed it up. We all make mistakes, and surely this isn’t your worst misdemeanor. But also, Miley, did you know the tense here is also totally wrong. Surely you’ve heard of Present Perfect Continuous Tense (I HAVE BEEN LYING in this bed all night long [hopefully getting some beauty sleep?]).”
In the letter, Stevens goes on to call Cyrus “the hottest cake in the pan” and advises her to “live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness.”
Submit your Great Job, Internet tips here.