Continuing a European campaign that’s rivaled the Axis powers in its imprisonment of innocents in Germany and abuses to Anne Frank, Justin Bieber entered Sweden this week, clearly hoping the famously neutral territory would be cool about weed. But as Bieber soon found out, Swedish neutrality largely dissipated after the Cold War, and also you can’t just go around smoking your pot drugs like a crazy reefer addict.
Police in Stockholm raided Bieber’s tour bus Wednesday night, after reportedly smelling marijuana coming from inside. There they discovered “a small amount of drugs” as well as a stun gun—two things regularly used for getting incapacitated—but made no arrests, owing to the bus being empty at the time. As of now, police have no suspects, leaving open the possibility that Bieber’s entire bus is one giant bong for doing his marijuana, or that it is haunted by the ghosts of the millions of Beliebers lost in WWII, getting blazed to take the edge off dying in the Holocaust.
Authorities have “declined to identify the drug, saying that it was sent to a lab for analysis.” Presumably this will involve a series of tests in which it is placed in front of Justin Bieber, to see if he then ruins his life. If so, it is conclusively marijuana.
Submit your Newswire tips here.