Tapper

A steady stream of surly drunks need beer, and they need it now. If they make it to the end of the bar before you've quenched their thirst, they'll kick your ass. If you drop one of their empty glasses on the ground, your boss will fire you. Clearly, bartending is not as easy as Cheers would have you believe.

Gameplay: Pull a pint, throw it down the bar, rinse, repeat, and occasionally collect a tip. Simple, right? You wish! Most of your customers will be happy with just one beer, but some will demand a second, or even a third. And beware the Budweiser cheerleaders: They can draw away the attention of even the most dedicated alcoholics, and your precious beer could end up sailing to the floor. You'll start out in a crappy dive bar, but if you satisfy enough beer-swilling locals, you'll get to move up to a football stadium. Survive the big game, and you just may get to open your own bar... on the moon!

For maximum fun, whenever your video-game counterpart chugs a beer, chug one of your own. If you can make it past level three, you're an honorary Frat Guy. At level seven, you're an honorary Kennedy. Past level 10, you're Ted Kennedy.

Could be mistaken for: Root Beer Tapper, Suntory Tapper, Sam Malone's Olde Thyme Saloon Of Adventure, or Cocktail: The Videogame.

Kids today might not like it because: The cheerleaders don't look anything like the real-life ones from Girls Gone Wild. You know, the ones the kids all think they'll score with on spring break.

Kids today might like it because: The jaunty music really works its way into your head, and if you're lucky enough to find an original machine, the little tap controller is awfully fun to use.

Enduring contribution to gaming history: Parents, not realizing that supplying Budweiser is the best way to convince kids to swear off beer for life, forced Bally Midway to replace Tapper with Root Beer Tapper. It's the same game, but without the beer. Luckily, the cheerleaders survived the conversion. —Wil Wheaton

When he's not writing in his blog [and sometimes when he is], Wil Wheaton drinks Arrogant Bastard Ale.

Thanks to The International Arcade Museum and The Killer List Of Video Games for images and historical information.

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