Tara Reid saves us all by turning sharks into perfume

Tara Reid saves us all by turning sharks into perfume

Sharkientist Tara Reid has repeatedly warned of the dangers of shark-filled tornadoes, both in the documentaries Sharknado and Sharknado 2, and in the pages of our most respected science and trouser journals. But alas, the world has refused to take her warnings seriously. So Tara Reid has now taken it upon herself to protect us all by bottling sharks into perfume, so they can’t be swept up in any tropical storms and eat us. Reid has just launched her new fragrance line, Shark By Tara, which is described as a “light and refreshing perfume perfect for day-to-day wear,” and not just those rare, special occasions when the sky is suddenly filled with sharks.



Naturally, some may wonder whether Shark By Tara was created by a shark having sex with Tara Reid inside a bottle. But no, this is scientifically inaccurate. Instead, Shark By Tara combines sharks with Reid’s tribute to the sharks of the plant world, as it “incorporates a plethora of ‘lavender’ colored flowers, which is Tara’s favorite color.” (Her other favorite color is “shark.”)


What does Shark By Tara smell like, besides security?


Shark by Tara perfume is a complex scent with three different levels of nodes that embrace our fresh, light, and fun feel. Our top-level node is clad with iced mint, violet and lemon, while our middle node is complete with jasmine, tuberose and muguet. The last dry node is cool blue rose, amber and musk.

Indeed, much like Sharknado itself, Shark By Tara is a complicated, layered creation, full of things that bite (iced mint, sharks), things that are a bit aged and leathery (musk, Ian Ziering), and of course, some straight-up bullshit (“cool blue rose,” sharknadoes).

And while one might expect to pay exorbitantly for being protected from sharks, while also smelling like you were dumped, Joker-style, in the chemical runoff of a Sephora factory, it turns out this Tara Reid-endorsed Sharknado perfume is actually pretty cheap. A single bottle will run you just $24.95, which is a small price to pay for your safety.

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