In what is the most hurtful leak to befall Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight today, the teaser for his next bloody Western—released before Sin City: A Dame To Kill For, but explicitly forbidden from running online—has, naturally, made its way online. And now you can watch it the way The Hateful Eight has always meant to be seen: surreptitiously and without Tarantino’s approval, and in the shittiest of web formats.
Thrill to the dizzying, off-centered cinematography, as the graphics-only teaser introduces you to all of film’s yet-to-be-officially cast characters—such as Major Marquis Warren, “The Sheriff,” and Joe Cage, “The Cow Puncher,” which we can only hope is literal! Chill to the knowledge that this movie hasn’t even started filming yet, even though it’s already being promised in “glorious 70mm” for 2015! And hopefully then someone else will film it with their butt and put it up early on the Internet, so you don’t have to watch it like Tarantino wants you to watch it. He’s not the boss of you.