Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, August 16. All times are Eastern.
NTSF: SD: SUV:: (Cartoon Network, 12:15 a.m.): Enough of you demanded regular coverage of the Childrens Hospital companion series with the complicated acronym for a title that we decided to add it to the regular Thursday-night rotation. Kevin McFarland travels to the mean, absurdist streets of San Diego to help Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Kate Mulgrew, and others send up camera-shaking, pun-slinging police procedurals.
Project Runway (Lifetime, 9 p.m.): Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles filled in for Tim Gunn on Project Runway All Stars, and for her troubles, she’s earned a spot on the judge’s dais tonight. Margaret Eby can’t imagine a greater honor.
Burn Notice (USA, 9 p.m.): Agents Bailey and Manaro (John Ales and Brendan O’Malley) return to muck things up for Michael and crew. Scott Von Doviak hopes they do so with actual muck.
Wilfred (FX, 10 p.m.): Ryan breaks his mom out of a group home. Kenny Herzog saw the whole thing go down, but he swears he won’t tell a soul.
Suits (USA, 10 p.m.): The fate of Pearson Hardman depends on the whims of a single person and their decisive vote. Carrie Raisler wonders what she’d do with such power—probably leverage herself an in-ground pool with golden water slide.
Louie (FX, 10:30 p.m.): Louie returns to the comic’s poker table last seen in “Poker/Divorce”—and promptly pukes all over it. If Nathan Rabin had to spend that much time with Nick DiPaolo, he’d have an upset stomach, too.
Awkward. (MTV, 10:30 p.m.): Sounds like the truth about Jenna and Matty’s romantic history is about to come out, just in time for the final act of the second season. Kevin McFarland stands by with a box of Kleenex.
Childrens Hospital (Cartoon Network, 12 a.m.): Tonight’s special guest is a little someone named Madonna. Is it the Madonna? Rob Corddry won’t say. David Sims predicts a bait-and-switch, where the guest is actually the Virgin Mary rather than The Material Girl.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Monty Python’s Flying Circus (11 a.m.): Dear Zack Handlen: We object to the obvious lavatorial turn the second of this week’s Flying Circus episodes takes. Why don’t we hear about the good things in Britain, like the many achievements of Ron Obvious?
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Time Machine Chefs (ABC, 9 p.m.): No, it’s not a Doctor Who/Inspector Spacetime for the culinary set, but a contest where competitors employ historical techniques in their cooking. Undeterred, Cory Casciato refuses to remove his chef’s-hat-and-Fourth-Doctor-scarf ensemble.
The Next (The CW, 9 p.m.): Aspiring musicians: Have you ever wished to be mentored by and be roommates with the likes of Gloria Estefan, Nelly, and John Rich? Yes, that’s right: Celebrity Apprentice champion John Rich. If so, you’ll have to get in line behind Molly Eichel.
Bullet In The Face (IFC, 10 p.m.): From Sledge Hammer! creator Alan Spencer comes the latest in satirical ultra-violence, a six-episode action-comedy airing as a two-night, double-fisted TV event. Erik Adams dons some kevlar and prepares to tangle with Eddie Izzard, Eric Roberts, and one mad German.
Slide (TeenNick, 10:30 p.m.): Aussie import tracks five teens through a senior year full of single-camera hijinks. Will be watched by kids who use “YOLO” unironically and way more adults than will ever admit to it.
National Lampoon’s Vacation (CMT, 9 p.m.): Before it can be remade as a quasi-reboot starring shapeshifting Griswold scion Rusty, revisit the family’s disastrous, aunt-killing, John-Candy-kidnapping trip to Walley World.
Elvis On Tour (TCM, 8 p.m.): Elvis Presley’s final film (and the primetime feature of Presley’s day in the Summer Under The Stars limelight) chronicles The King’s 1972 tour—partially through split-screen montages assembled by Martin Scorsese.
Little League World Series: Midwest vs. Southeast (ESPN, 8 p.m.): Finally, the superior of these two U.S. regions will be determined, not by measures like local cuisine and quality of life, but by good, old-fashioned, spirit-crushing youth baseball!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Oh Sit!: Carrie Raisler sits The CW’s “extreme musical chairs” program in a throne built for a gentlemen—a gentleman’s “F,” that is.