It’s been 14 years since kiddie-TV staple Blue's Clues first aired on Nickelodeon, which means a whole generation of kids who grew up with Steve, Blue, Magenta, and Periwinkle has come of age and is now seeking out grittier, more adult fare—but that doesn’t mean they have to leave their childhood friends behind. Since no one’s better at probing the dark psyches of beloved childhood icons than Batman resuscitator Christopher Nolan, he’d be a perfect candidate to update the Blue's Clues crew in a big-screen murder-mystery! (…said the coked-up movie executive who’s run out of board-game adaptations to foist on the American public.)
Thankfully, someone on YouTube has already imagined this unholy pairing so Hollywood won’t have to. As it turns out, “Christopher Nolan’s Blue's Clues” is a so-wrong-it’s-right proposition (as long it’s kept to a 4-minute faux trailer), placing the polo-shirted Steve at the center of whodunit rife with danger, deception, and blue handprints. The production value is pretty high for YouTube—check out that booming orchestral update of the Blue's Clues musical motif—and there are lots of winking nods to the source material, such as Steve threatening to kill his salt and pepper shakers.
If that’s not enough to scratch your Blue's Clues itch—which you should really get checked out already, seeing as you’re a fucking adult—check out the recent edition of The Moth podcast featuring former Blues Clues host Steve Burns, who tells a hilarious tale of going on a date with a Nick Jr.-loving Playboy model. And thus ends your daily A.V. Club Blue's Clues update. Blue skidoo, you can too!