The A.V. Club’s Re-Gifting Guide, Or What We Got For The Holidays, Part Two

The A.V. Club’s Re-Gifting Guide, Or What We Got For The Holidays, Part Two

The holidays, as so many Lifetime movies have taught us, have become a time of greed and crass commercialism. But also, as those same Lifetime movies taught us, they can be a time of selflessness and joy. So in the spirit of both of those things, we present The A.V. Club’s two-part Holiday Re-Gifting Guide, which exists in part so that we can ask companies to send us free stuff, and in part so that we can give that free stuff away. (Some of it, anyway.) So please welcome part two into your home, serve it some eggnog, and then see how it can help you either a) become a better person or b) get material possessions. Perhaps it’s both. Oh, and in the spirit of holiday innocence, we also had some adorable children take a look at these products, and you can watch part two of that video here. (Part one is here.) Oh, and the dollar amounts are all list prices—you can probably do a lot better on most of these things.

Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select Tennessee Whiskey ($165)
“I’m for anything that gets you through the night—be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.” So said Frank Sinatra to Playboy way back in 1962, and if he were alive today, he’d be 98 and probably still drinking and swearing up a storm. He’d also be able to afford a bottle of Sinatra Select Tennessee Whiskey, which is brewed by his old pals at Jack Daniel’s in special “Sinatra barrels,” though there’s no goddamn way he’d ever pay for it, you rat. The special barrels have “extra layers of toasted wood,” resulting in a 90-proof whiskey “full of oak and spice notes with a classic vanilla finish.” Thirst. Coming. On.
Did they send us a free one? They promised to, but have yet to deliver. Since Frank was a man of his word—he had to be, that crazy kid—we expect it’ll arrive eventually and be judiciously imbibed. Two fingers, on the rocks.
Who will we re-gift it to? Empty-bottle collectors?

Dexter: The Complete Series DVD ($360)
If there are still Dexter geeks out there after the almost universally reviled final season, they might be interested in the made-by-geeks Complete Series DVD, whose 33 discs are packaged in a cheapie replica of Dexter Morgan’s box of blood slides/trophy case. Each season is separated by a little divider card and a bonus blood slide with a Dexter quote on it, like “My dark passenger is like a trapped coal miner, always tapping, always letting me know it’s in there, still alive.” It’s a pretty monstrous set and, if you think about it too long, a gruesome package. An Amazon-only version comes in even more elaborate packaging: a head-and-shoulders dummy with a bloody slash on its face, and a head that screws off to reveal the discs. (That one goes for over $500, so hopefully it can double as a conversation piece.)
Did they send us a free one? Yes, the DVD version of the blood-slide case. There was, strangely, no apology note for season eight.
Who will we re-gift it to? This one might stick around, in case we ever want to go back and enjoy those early seasons again. We’re keeping it, of course, inside the air conditioner, not out where just anyone can see it. 

Saved By The Bell: The Complete Collection DVD ($50)
Compared to the 90210 and Dexter sets, the Saved By The Bell collection is positively anemic: There’s almost no art to speak of—just those cheap-o clam-shell boxes and a list of episodes. Maybe that makes sense: Saved By The Bell was Saturday-morning cheap-o entertainment, a box of silliness that somehow also managed to touch a generation of kids who didn’t know any better. (We’re not blaming them; we enjoyed it, too…) As for extra material, there are a pair of short documentaries that only managed to snag Mr. Belding, Screech, and Lisa Turtle for interviews (in addition to behind-the-scenes folks). Still, if you’ve got approximately 37 hours and 48 minutes (according to the box), it might be worth skipping through some of Screech’s finer moments, or at least Jessie Spano’s No-Doz freakout.
Did they send us a free one? Yes, indeed. It came along with BH90210. Quite the juxtaposition.
Who will we re-gift it to? Hopefully somebody that’s going to watch it unironically. A tall order, yes, but not impossible.

Slayer and Bad Brains sunglasses (around $70 a pair)
Arnette has built up a loyal fan base of skaters and snowboarders by making stylish sunglasses and ski goggles. Now the company is moving into the rock world, teaming up with both Bad Brains and Slayer to make branded glasses and goggles. The Slayer glasses are made from the company’s Witch Doctor frames and are perfect for being able to stare into the flames of hell while keeping your peepers safe and sound. The Bad Brains glasses are on the Dropout frame, and should hide a serious case of red eye, no problem. 
Did they send us a free one? We got both a Bad Brains and a Slayer pair, and have been wearing them in the office to block out all the harsh fluorescent light, maaaan. 
Who will we re-gift it to? Our politically active and socially conscious guy friend. Those dudes never spend enough money on sunglasses, and are still listening the same old Slayer and Bad Brains CDs they burned in college. It would be a real punk treat to be able to give them something new.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer-inspired nail polish ($9/bottle)
It’s been more than a decade since Buffy died (she’s died twice), but her memory lives on… in appropriately quippy nail polish (the excellent names include Some Monster In Her Man and Bored Now). 
Did they send us a free one? Vivid Lacquer sent us four bottles: Five By Five (“a denim blue scatter holo polish”), Demon Magnet (“a steel gray scatter holo”), Band Candy (“chocolate brown scatter holo”), and, our favorite, the very scary It Must Be BUNNIES! (“white scatter holo with red shimmer”). Layman’s translation: gorgeous nail polish that’s neither too serious nor too glittery. We kind of wish we’d also requested Bored Now, if only so we could imitate Evil Willow whenever anybody asked us what color we were wearing.
Who will we re-gift it to? Our teenaged cousin who’s just discovered her inner Buffy—female empowerment and fashion. If she’s already a hardcore Whedonite, you can also get her Vivid Lacquer’s polish called We Do The Weird Stuff from the Evil Collection Of Evil.

Grammar plates by grammar RULES! ($68)
The A.V. Club editorial staff loves us some words, but even we need a reminder sometimes (though usually our commenters are quick to point out errors). These dessert-sized plates have helpful reminders of common grammar errors (fewer and less; good and well; and the especially devilish lie and lay). 
Did they send us a free one? Apparently Lee, the history teacher who runs this site, realized that a bunch of grammar nerds work here, so she sent us two sets.
Who will we re-gift it to? That annoying family member who’s always correcting everyone’s grammar. You know the one.

Zero Toys Vapor Blaster ($24)
There’s no explicit pop-culture tie-in with this neat little toy, but it’s fun to play with, so who cares? Made by Zero Toys, the Zero Blaster shoots 2-to-4 inch vapor rings which, when lit with the gun’s blue LED light, look pretty awesome. Plus, the Blaster comes with a ray-gun sound effect that users can turn on and off, so it’s perfect for driving friends (and parents) absolutely crazy. 
Did they send us a free one? One? We got two, including one that was already equipped with the six AA batteries needed to operate the thing. We had it up and running about five minutes after we pulled it out of the box and have been using it to annoy each other ever since.
Who will we re-gift it to? If we’re absolutely forced to, probably our kooky uncle. It’ll give him something to do on Christmas Day other than try to make conversation with us about our cool young lives and friends.

Geeky Jerseys Doctor Who jersey ($95)
Specialty jersey manufacturer Geeky Jerseys never features more than a handful of styles at a given time, but keep an eye out and drum up support for a favorite, and your dream pattern could become reality. Ranging from Toy Story to Game Of Thrones to Firefly to The Legend Of Zelda, the company rotates through jerseys perfect for any pop-culture enthusiast of any medium who also wants to wear something eye-catching and comfortable, with a sly acknowledgement that liking sports is okay, too. It’s as if Bill Simmons and Kevin Smith had a collaborative wet dream about memorabilia.
Did they send us a free one? Yes, a Doctor Who TARDIS jersey, just in time for the 50th anniversary special. And we may have also purchased a Heisenberg Empire jersey on our own. (Did you know we like Breaking Bad? We like Breaking Bad enough to buy a hockey jersey about it.)
Who will we re-gift it to? Are you kidding? Nobody is laying a finger on these things. Fine, if we have to, years from now when cleaning out the closet and the jersey doesn’t fit anymore, it could go to the most dedicated sports and pop-culture crossover enthusiast in the family.

Envy, Invariable Will, Recurring Ebbs And Flows box set ($200)
Japanese quintet Envy has existed for 21 years (with the same members), though the punk band of 1992 hardly resembles Envy in 2013. A cinematic mix of punk, post-rock, post-hardcore, screamo, experimental, and noise, the band’s sound has grown more difficult to categorize over the years, but it remains engrossing. To celebrate Envy’s impressive longevity, indie label Temporary Residence has assembled one of the craziest box sets we’ve ever seen: Every Envy track (95 songs) remastered for vinyl on 14 vinyl LPs housed in jackets with new artwork; a previously unreleased 100-minute DVD and DVD data disc with the songs in high-quality MP3 format; and a 100-page coffee-table book with exclusive photos and lyrics to every song (in Japanese and English). All of it comes in a custom metallic foil outer box, and it’s legitimately stunning. Of the 1,000 copies originally pressed, roughly 400 remain, and $200 is pretty cheap considering the crazy amount of material it includes.
Did they send us a free one? We didn’t ask—we have some scruples. (But web editor David Anthony bought it.)
Who will we re-gift it to? There’s a very small pool of people who’d appreciate something so awesome, and nuts to them. If we had one, we’d keep it.

The Homemade Gin Kit ($50)
For those interested in distilling but lacking the patience for copper kettles and coils or the stomach for toilet wine, there’s The Homemade Gin Kit. One box contains almost everything an industrious lush needs to make two little bottles of gin. Simply add store-bought vodka to the kit’s tins of juniper berries, coriander, allspice, fennel seed, and some other stuff, wait a couple of weeks, strain out the leaves, and you’ll have your very own handcrafted gin. Keep one bottle for yourself and give another to a friend. Or, you know, just keep both bottles for yourself.
Did they send us a free one? Indeed they did. Once we grab some vodka, we’ll be making desk gin in no time. 
Who will we re-gift it to? Our most altruistic friend. In other words, the person we think is most likely to actually make the gin and then turn around and give us one of the bottles.

The Beatles, On Air — Live At The BBC Volume 2 ($18)
In 1994, The Beatles’ Live At The BBC came out and proved that, even 25 years after breaking up, the group was still a pretty big deal. The double CD of tracks recorded live on the BBC sold more than five million copies in six weeks and landed atop the U.K. and U.S. album charts. Nearly two decades later, Live At The BBC Volume 2 aims to recapture some of that retail magic with 37 previously unreleased performances and 23 previously unreleased bits of in-studio banter between The Beatles and the BBC DJs. Those 37 tracks include a number of covers, including The Beatles’ take on “Beautiful Dreamer” and Chuck Berry’s “I’m Talking About You.” Other old favorites include “I Saw Her Standing There,” “I Want To Hold Your Hand,” and “I’ll Follow The Sun.” 
Did they send us a free one? We got one for each remaining Beatle. So, two.
Who will we re-gift it to? Our mom? Our dad? Our aunt? Our uncle? Our old high school friend? Everyone likes The Beatles, so this should be a good present for just about anyone.

Plants Vs. Zombies Lawn Ornaments ($30-$65)
A lawn ornament’s function is right there in the name—it’s ornamentation—but at least half of this two-piece set is committed to garden defense. Unfortunately, the other half is committed to garden consumption. The good news for parties on both sides of the Plants Vs. Zombies divide: Neither the Pea Shooter nor the standard-issue Zombie are animate. Because they’re ornaments, for your lawn. Did we get that point across effectively? 
Did they send us a free one? A complete pair arrived at A.V. Club HQ courtesy of ThinkGeek. Not that they’ll do a group of Chicago apartment dwellers any good… 
Who will we re-gift it to? A mobile-device-bound niece or nephew who could use the quick vitamin-D boost afforded by some time in the garden.

The Twilight Zone: The Complete Series ($170)
For all of its flights of nerve-rattling fancy, Rod Serling’s timeless anthology series stands as a testament to the spectacular simplicity of television’s first Golden Age. This newly compiled box set echoes that simplicity, ditching the special features from the previous “complete definitive” DVD issue in favor of letting Serling and his crew’s half-hour (or, in the series’ fourth season, hour-long) morality plays speak for themselves. Of course, if these discs or the episodes within actually do begin to speak, best make sure you’re not caught between what’s known and unknown, stuck in transit twixt dream and reality at a little way station we call… The Twilight Zone.
Did they send us a free one? Yes. Or did they? (They did.) 
Who will we re-gift it to? A nebbish uncle who’s always wanted to watch the series, but never had the time. He’ll have time enough at last once he crawls into that radiation-proof bank vault.

Star Wars: Frames book ($150)
Lest the world think George Lucas has been slacking at his main job—remixer-in-chief of the Star Wars franchise—here’s his latest reconfiguration of his signature mythos, in fat-ass book form. Star Wars: Frames is exactly what the title says: a ginormous tome that gathers a Lucas-curated selection of frames from his six big-screen episodes of the Star Wars series. It’s gorgeous, no doubt; previously available only as a $3,000 limited-edition set, this budget(?)-priced, two-volume finger-crusher is perfect for viewing these iconic images of Luke Skywalker, the ice planet Hoth, the Millennium Falcon, the Death Star, and, um, Jar Jar Binks. (It’s also good for swinging from a tree and caving in the metallic face of an AT-ST.) Mostly, though, Star Wars: Frames falls under the category of “coffee table book that you would never want to have on your coffee table, mostly because it’s way too fucking big, and also because it gets boring really quick.”
Did they send us a free one? Yes, and considering the back-spraining weight of the goddamn thing, it cost just as much to ship as to make.
Who will we re-gift it to? Someone within driving distance. Perhaps our basement-dwelling cousin who pretends to hate George Lucas yet can’t stop buying everything with Lucas’ name on it.

A Christmas Story bunny suit costume ($59) and 20-inch leg lamp ($60)
No holiday season would be complete without a visit from the TBS fairy, who stocks the basic-cable station with hours and hours of A Christmas Story, played on repeat. That marathon is one of the reasons so many Americans have seen the movie so many times. In the past few years, the marketing of A Christmas Story-related gear has really taken off, too, and now there’s both an actual Christmas Story museum and dozens of different official Christmas Story products for sale on the web, from a “Show Me How The Piggies Eat” apron to the two items we like the most, a 20-inch replica leg lamp (“It’s a major award!”) and a full-size “pink nightmare” bunny costume like the one worn by Ralphie in the film. There’s no better way to celebrate the holidays than to gaze longingly at the lamp’s “electric sex” while all bundled up in a polyester bunny suit, complete with shoe covers and gloves.
Did they send us a free one? We got ours from the fine people at MyPartyShirt.com, a website that also sells a version of the Aggro-Crag from Guts
Who will we re-gift it to? Literally anyone. Everyone’s seen A Christmas Story a million times.

Penguin Classic Candide tote bag ($25)
This bag takes the Chris Ware cover art of the Penguin Classic Deluxe edition of Voltaire’s French satire Candide, and puts it on the front of a swell canvas tote. The art on the back has a breakdown of the list of characters.
Did they send us a free one? They did.
Who will we re-gift it to? Our favorite environmentally conscious friend who wants everyone at the farmers’ market to know how super-literary and hip to the whole “comics scene” he is.

Penguin Classics DODOcase iPad case ($80)
DODOcase makes a pretty sweet iPad case that adopts the classic black-spine/orange-and-white detail of the Penguin Classics books, making the cool 21st-century device look decidedly retro and vintage. The catch: It’s currently only available for the iPad 2/3/4. Sorry, iPad Air early adopters.
Did they send us a free one? Yes.
Who will we re-gift it to? That bookish friend who finally caved and got an iPad—right before the iPad Air came out.

The Elder Scrolls Anthology ($80)
Fully exploring just one of Bethesda Softworks’ Elder Scrolls fantasy games can consume upwards of 200 hours, and now The Elder Scrolls Anthology compiles all five Elder Scrolls games in one package. Not since Pandora’s heyday has so much life-destroying potential been contained in a single box. Yes, the quality of the games does vary—The Elder Scrolls: Arena, released in 1994, is a pretty rough work by modern standards, lacking the refinement of writing and world-building that infused the later entries. But that’s to be expected for an almost 20-year-old series, and even with their age, all of the games possess the essence of Elder Scrolls adventures: vast worlds filled with small, well-constructed quests that pull you in any number of directions. The box set not only includes the five Elder Scrolls games—Arena, Daggerfall, Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim—but it also tosses in the official expansion packs for the last three, so that you may never have to leave the realm of Tamriel. This is intense immersion—probably the closest thing we’ve got to a holodeck in 2013.
Did they send us a free one? Yes, without our even asking for it. This is how Bethesda assimilates new followers into the fold.
Who will we re-gift it to? That goody-goody co-worker whose productivity is wrecking the curve for the rest of us. [JT]

Alternative Movie Posters by Matthew Chojnacki ($35)
Gallery 1988’s Crazy4Cult Cult Movie Art 2 ($35)
Pop-culture obsessives can have trouble letting things be finite, an idea well represented by both of these books, which use films as jumping-off points for other art. That art is mostly new movie posters, some designed for revival screenings and others just for fun. Alternative Movie Posters grabs 100 excellent examples, from Goonies and Ghostbusters prints that mimic cereal boxes to a spooky Alien print that looks like a ’70s book cover. Gallery 1988’s second Cult Movie Art book is pretty similar, though it offers the occasional fine-art piece in addition to posters, like a Donnie Darko doll and a Rushmore painting that features a little interactive pull-down card of Max Fischer’s achievements. Movie geeks will find at least one thing in each book to drool over and/or seek out prints of.
Did they send us a free one? Yes, we got copies of each. One with a personal note. They must know what we like.
Who will we re-gift it to? If A.A. Dowd doesn’t want them, we’ll find somebody with a Ghostbusters fetish and a really big coffee table.

Call The Shots iPhone case ($25)
ModCloth produces cute cases for the iPhone 5/5S that have an old-school cathode ray TV set on the back, complete with channel-changing dial and color bars for retro-tastic enjoyment. It’s a nice nod to the days when being in an actual A.V. club at a high school really meant something. About life. And also crappy electronics. These days in our hyper-connected, technologically savvy world, it’s nice to occasionally remember that every time your TV got weird it would do that snow thing or flash test-bars at you, because now we have nothing to unite us except 404 pages and the grim onslaught of inevitable death. Oh, and iPhone cases.
Did they send us a free one? Yes. It’s really sleek, and makes that flimsy champagne iPhone 5S look less like it’s going to shatter into a million pieces. It’s a bit tricky to get off your phone—but wait, why are you taking it off?
Who will we re-gift it to? That teenage niece or cousin that’s always texting, so s/he can have a little hipster cred to spice up a bland, digital existence. “Hey kid, when I was your age, those color-bar televisions were already obsolete. And a dial for changing channels? I mean, what is that?” They will roll their eyes and ignore you, because that’s what the holidays are all about.

Land Of Linked In Socks ($12)
Also from ModCloth are these hilarious knee-high socks with President Lincoln in a top hat looking sternly out from each shin. We cannot imagine any situation in which it would be stylish or appropriate to wear them, so obviously, they are the best things ever. If you really wanted, you could just wear them to feel like your calves are Gettysburg addressing as you’re walking around having your day. Or emancipating. Proclaiming. Fourteenth-amendment-ing. Due-processing. That Lincoln, he was a busy guy, he did a lot of stuff.
Did they send us a free one? No, but they gave us another pair of socks instead. We can confirm that the socks are sock-shaped and also are made of sock fabric.
Who will we re-gift it to? A teacher, so their students can mock them mercilessly, forever.

Wolverine claw necklace and earrings ($36)
ThinkGeek makes this set of absurdly nerdy jewelry, with a little Wolverine claw hanging off of each ear as well as a pendant on a long chain. The earrings are anchored in place with studs that have the little X-Men logo on them. Advantages: kind of arty, super cute, stainless steel; doesn’t make you look like a total loser, but still has that loser vibe. Disadvantages: You could accidentally claw someone with three different objects that are on your body. Most of the time, it will be yourself. Probably in the boob.
Did they send us a free one? No, because they don’t love us very much. It’s okay, they look nice in the picture.
Who will we re-gift it to? If you get this, and you don’t want it, please send it to Forever Alone X-Men Fans With Crushes On Wolverine, c/o The A.V. Club, c/o The Onion, c/o the Illinois State Penitentiary System. We’ll do what we can with it.

Sholdit scarf ($50)
From the sacred annals of SkyMall comes this gem: “With the security of a cross-body bag and the simplicity of a clutch, this unique scarf will be the most versatile item in your travel wardrobe. Unfolded, it’s a stylish infinity scarf with two hidden zippered security pockets that discreetly carry your phone, cash, credit cards, and other essentials hands-free. Wear it double-wrapped around your neck, across your body, or zipped up and carried as a stylish clutch.” If that doesn’t make you open up your wallet and dump out $50 immediately, we have no idea what is wrong with you.
Did they send us a free one? No. All those years reading SkyMall and still nothing.
Who will we re-gift it to? The least self-conscious and least self-aware person in your life who wants a clutch/scarf. Which means, I don’t know, your boss?

Purple Snow: Forecasting The Minneapolis Sound LP box ($85)
Chicago’s Numero Group consistently puts out some of the most intense and most intensely designed overviews of fringe scenes and labels, most of which have long since disappeared. This holiday season, the label is focusing on the Minneapolis funk and rock scene of the late ’70s and early ’80s that would eventually birth Prince. The quadruple-LP (also available on two CDs for $35) set includes tracks from a number of eventually legendary acts and producers, including Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, as well as a couple of tracks that feature pre-stardom Prince. The set even comes packaged with a 108-page book that should help even the densest fan really dive deep into the Twin Cities scene. 
Did they send us a free one? Fuck yeah. Now we’re working on getting them to send every other record they’ve ever released.
Who will we re-gift it to? The one person we know from Minneapolis.

Leather Doctors Weekend Bag ($295)
Clearly the most pop-culture inspired item on our list this year, this versatile bag from Duluth Pack will come in handy in many situations. Have the hots for a Whovian girl? Tell her you brought the bag all the way back in the TARDIS and that you’re slated to be the 12th doctor. At a party where everyone is younger and cooler than you? Tell those hipsters when they grow up they can trade their scout packs for a real bag. Enjoying a boozy brunch? Tell your bourgeois friends all about the merits of “made in America,” using this bag as an example to impress their trend-hungry minds. 
Did they send us a free one? Yes, and they love our publication as much as we love their products. 
Who will we re-gift it to? It has a lifetime warranty. We’re taking this one to the grave.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman: The Complete Series ($250)
At 36 discs and 325 episodes, Shout! Factory’s collection of this Norman Lear-produced soap-opera parody isn’t the heftiest complete-series offering on this year’s wish list. But it is the boxed document of the TV series that had the deepest impact in the smallest amount of time, introducing wackadoo deadpan to TV audiences six years before Police Squad! and opening the door for Adult Swim’s late-night TV mirror universe way back in the 1970s. And all it took to do that was a little more than a year of five-nights-a-week broadcasts.
Did they send us a free one? All 36 discs—plus a bonus pair boasting 10 installments of the Mary Hartman spin-off Fernwood 2 Night, a talk-show send-up whose influence is felt whenever Scott Aukerman grins-and-bears his way through a Comedy Bang! Bang! interview or Eric Andre destroys the set of his eponymous fake talk show.
Who will we re-gift it to? Our cousin whose Tim And Eric-inspired YouTube uploads could point to the new future of TV satire. 

Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman Criterion box set ($225)
Next to maybe Matt Murdock, who manages to fight crime and charm juries without properly functioning eyes, Zatoichi has to be the most badass blind man in all of fiction. A peaceful, sightless masseur by day, he moonlights as a skilled swordsman, fighting valiantly against thugs, assassins, and the stereotypes perpetuated by that bumbling fool Mr. Magoo. One of the most popular recurring characters in all of Japanese cinema, Zatoichi appeared in a whopping 25 films from 1962 to 1973—all of which are included in Criterion’s latest holy gift to movie lovers. Packing a decade’s worth of adventures into one gorgeous, square package, and including the usual lovingly compiled book of essays and art, this combo Blu-ray/DVD box set offers further evidence that the good folks at the Criterion Collection are out to convince the world’s cinephiles that there is a God. And that he digs Katana swords!
Did they send us a free one? Yes, and thank the aforementioned deity of film fandom for that. As much as we love Criterion—and physical media—their prices can turn a proud disc collector into a Netflix subscriber in no time flat.
Who will we re-gift it to? Are you kidding? We’d have to come down with a nasty case of Onchocerciasis before parting with a package this beautiful.

The Snoop Dogg G Pen Herbal Vaporizer ($99.95)
Amid changing names and musical genres, one thing remains constant about the career of Calvin Broadus, a.k.a. Snoop Dogg, a.k.a. Snoop Lion: The man likes to smoke weed. A lot. So it was inevitable Snoop would eventually put his name on some kind of marijuana paraphernalia, like Hank Aaron with bats or Eddie Van Halen with guitars. What’s surprising is just how elegant that paraphernalia turned out to be. The Snoop Dogg G Pen Herbal Vaporizer is part of Grenco Science’s line of sleek, state-of-the-art products meant for getting fucked up more efficiently, boasting a small micro-coil that heats up your “dried herbs” electronically through a USB charge and produces a near-odorless “smoke.” And while it’s slightly larger than the company’s more, let’s say, “executive” models, the Snoop Dogg-branded vaporizer is shockingly refined. No embarrassing Doggystyle cartoons here; just a tasteful street map of Long Beach and a tiny Snoop Dogg signature, as befitting its namesake’s new, more mature life of blazing one in between business meetings.
Did they send us a free one? Yes, along with several of the other G Pen models to compare. These all disappeared from the office quickly, as The A.V. Club staff has a lot of essential oils they need a convenient way to vaporize.
Who will we re-gift it to? Despite it being relatively sophisticated, it’s still a pretty big vaporizer with Snoop Dogg’s name emblazoned on it. We’d probably give it to our cousin who attends lots of reggae festivals and wouldn’t care about being seen with something like that.