We try not to get political here at The A.V. Club, but after our own Todd VanDerWerff and critics at other sites issued an urgent call to arms in regards to H8R, The CW's show that's all about how no one should ever be mean to celebrities on the Internet because celebrities like Snooki and Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis and Bachelor star Jake Pavelka are just that much better than you plebes, thousands took to the streets in angry protest, demanding an end to our nation's subjugation beneath the crushing boot of host Mario Lopez. (If this were a political cartoon, picture a giant Mario Lopez, dressed like a corporate fat-cat, twirling a mustache, and chomping on a cigar, stepping on the back of some tiny, fat Internet dweeb, the words, "Let go of your H8" issuing from his lips.)
Now, there are those who might say the above is not strictly "accurate" and that those protesting around the world have more on their minds than whether or not Mario Lopez will convince some dude he found on the Internet that Eva Longoria is worthy of his admiration. The point is: The CW has listened to the demands of the handful of us who were protesting for the removal of this program from the airwaves and canceled the show, replacing it with, uh, Ringer, which isn't a very good show but is, at least, not a cancer on our very society, devouring us from within. So if you're keeping track at home, Sarah Michelle Gellar > Mario Lopez.
Anyway, while other protests continue apace, the Occupy Mario Lopez movement appears to have been a raging success, which means confused TV critics will emerge from their bunkers, blink once or twice at the sunlight, then shout excitedly before performing their ancestral song of joy, "Yub Nub (Celebrate The Life)" (complete with Alan Sepinwall on pan flute). Our work is never finished, but at least one badly misjudged, downright terrible, and, okay, evil empire has fallen today. Still, we must not let our guards down. Access Hollywood remains.
Submit your Newswire tips here