In the rare instance of Germany being humorless about something, the nation's media authorities have declared Kermit The Frog an outlaw after finding him guilty of product placement, a practice deemed illegal in Germany unless clearly identified as such. The fake amphibian's infraction came during an appearance last year when Kermit hosted a "Disney Day" of programming on the country's Pro7 network (Germany: where even the names of TV channels seem Orwellian), with Kermit mentioning the upcoming theatrical release of The Muppets without proclaiming, "Dast ist ad!!!" in accordance with German regulation. Breaking ideologically with Fox News, the stentorian government blasted Kermit's blatant act of capitalism and charged Pro7 with breaking the law, though it's unclear as yet whether anyone will suffer any financial penalties. "But zee Frog ist now verboten, along with clowning Jew-bear," German authorities did not say, but should have.
Send your Newswire tips to email@example.com