A.V. Club Most Read

News Newswire Great Job, Internet!
TV Club All Reviews What's On Tonight
Video All Video A.V. Undercover A.V. Cocktail Club Film Club
Reviews All Reviews Film TV Music Books
Features All Features Newswire TV Club
Sections Film Tv Music Food Comedy Books Games Aux
Our Company About Us Contact Advertise Privacy Policy Careers RSS
Onion Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios

The Mega Sharks Have Finally Come For Our Bridges,

Debbie Gibsons, etc.

Watching Debbie Gibson skillfully portray "Girl Who Has A Boyfriend Who Apparently Only Hangs Out In Central Park" in her 1989 video "Lost In Your Eyes," who could guess that 20 years later that porkpie-hatted songstress would be uttering lines like "We'll get them to kill each other!" for her role as "Scientist, Or Something" in the straight-to-DVD, bad-movie-that-sounds-like-it-will-be-funny-to-watch-but-is-actually-just-tedious, soon-to-be drunk-movie-night classic, Mega Shark Vs. Octopus?  

At least she has 47 cases of unopened Electric Youth fragrance in her basement to remind her of the good ole days.  

I know what you're thinking: "The Thrilla in Manila? That seems like a poor analogy for an epic, plane-swiping, submarine-crushing, undersea battle between unfrozen Mega-Shark and unfrozen Giant Octopus." But it's actually not an analogy. The trailer doesn't show it, but Don King makes a cameo as a tough-talking, no-nonsense marine boxing promoter who convinces the Giant Octopus and Mega-Shark to put on boxing gloves and settle their differences in an underwater gargantu-ring near the Phillippines before a live, pay-per-view audience. Ridiculous? Not for this movie.