The People's Choice Awards proclaim Sandra Bullock the favorite actress of the people

The People's Choice Awards proclaim Sandra Bullock the favorite actress of the people

Just as the peasants of the French Revolution once fought an oppressive monarchical system, the People have again gathered en masse to rip down the tyrannical rule of critics and industry professionals who would declare Enlightened the best TV show of the year. As revolutionaries once stormed the Bastille in a symbolic fight against subjugation, so did the People take to the Internet to vote—over 700 million times—for Bromances, On-Screen Chemistry, and Country Music Icons in this year’s People’s Choice Awards. Echoing the cries of “Liberté, égalité, fraternité!”, the People avowed in one melodious voice: “We love Sandra Bullock!”

In fact, the People declared Bullock their Favorite Actress in not one, but three separate categories—Comedic, Dramatic, and all around Favorite. Both The Heat and Gravity took home Favorite Film Awards, while Bullock bested her own on-screen chemistry with Melissa McCarthy and instead took home the award for her pairing with George Clooney.

Lest they be labeled as mere reactionaries, the People also affirmed their continued love for Johnny Depp and Ellen DeGeneres, and named Adam Sandler their Favorite Comedic Actor for the fourth consecutive year. Yet that revolutionary spirit bubbled forth once more as they boldly declared Kaley Cuoco to be a funnier TV actress than Jane Lynch or Melissa McCarthy, and dubbed Rick Grimes a better anti-hero than Walter White.

And so, their radical fever pacified, the People retired to look upon the glory of their chosen nominees and winners—which are listed here—and slumber peacefully until next year’s awards calls them forth again.

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