Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, May 23. All times are Eastern.
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m.): It has come, as was foretold in the sacred founding documents of the TV Club. “YEA!” they read. “THE PEOPLE SHALL KNOW OF THE COMING OF THE END OF THE TV SEASON BY THE VISION OF A WHITE MAN STRUMMING A GUITAR AND SINGING SOFTLY WINNING A SIGNIFICANT PRIZE!” So it has been for, lo, these many years, and so it shall ever be. For ever since the TV Club was founded, a white guy with a guitar has won American Idol, which bodes well for Phillip Phillips—yes, if you’re just paying attention now, that’s his name—in tonight’s finale. Will he win, or will Jessica Sanchez upset? Kenny Herzog will have the details, so you don’t have to watch.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): It’s summertime for the Heck family, which means summer jobs, Brick turning into a party animal, and Mike’s brother trying to hold his wedding at the Heck home. Will Harris will be sad to see the family go for the summer. Instead, we’ll be providing him with wacky antics all summer!
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): Jay and Manny help Lily get ready for a dance recital, and apparently don’t notice that she’s an entirely different (and far more unsettling) person. How can this be? Donna Bowman is just hopeful that Mitchell and Cam’s attempt to adopt another child is successful.
Don’t Trust The B---- In Apartment 23 (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): The series filmed 13 episodes but will only air seven, so we can’t say this is a planned season finale, but at least it will have six episodes to roll over into next year. Emily Guendelsberger hopes James wins his Dancing With The Stars bid.
America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV, 10 p.m.): This review of a totally unassuming Randy Jackson-produced MTV reality show will mark the end of an era for our own Emily Yoshida, but we think we’ll let her explain that to you herself, all while she’s telling you about the “Rihanna Superstar Challenge.”
Revenge (ABC, 10 p.m.): The episode description closes with, “And then an explosive event occurs,” which sounds like our kind of TV episode, particularly if that explosive event is literally somebody blowing up. Carrie Raisler is sure it’ll just be a building, but what if it was Madeleine Stowe disintegrating?
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Sopranos (1 p.m.): Vito’s secret comes out, ahem, and Tony wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. Others in the organization aren’t so willing, and he heads off to another state. Since the episode is titled “Live Free Or Die,” Todd VanDerWerff knows that he goes to Kentucky, home of freedom.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Betty White’s Off Their Rockers (NBC, 8 p.m.): Want to know how NBC’s unexpectedly successful prank show is ending its first season? Why, it’s ending it with a visit from Rob Schneider, that’s how! If that’s not enough to get you to tune in, we’re upset you’re the reason the hilarity of Rob was taken from us.
Man-Eating Super Croc (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): If this show is successful enough, maybe Animal Planet will add the man-eating super croc to the cast of its other shows. We can just imagine how this would go over on Too Cute! Kittens, and we can’t wait to see him as the new firebrand on Animal Cops!
America’s Next Top Model (The CW, 9 p.m.): For whatever reason, the series is airing its finale next week, outside of the TV season, but you can check out highlights of the season tonight. We hope you enjoy clip shows, because that’s all you’re going to get here! Then, who doesn’t love clip shows?
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10 p.m.): An underage escort is murdered at an upper-class bachelor party, and “the investigation uncovers a feud between two escort panels.” Thus endeth another TV season on NBC, which hopes you’re really into a poker-playing monkey when the fall rolls around.
Dick Tracy (HBO Signature, 7:15 p.m.): This is a movie that notoriously didn’t live up to the amount of publicity and hype poured into it, but, man, when we saw it at the age of 11, it seemed like the greatest thing ever made. And, if nothing else, it’s worth seeing for the amazing color and production design.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Cinemax, 7:45 p.m.): Here’s another movie we loved unreservedly in our early years, but it’s one we still love unreservedly now. We know some of you think it’s bullshit that this is as much a comedy as it is an unrelenting action film, but we think that makes it even better.
MLB Baseball: Nationals at Phillies (ESPN2, 7 p.m.): Hey, the Nationals are pretty good this year, which is nice for Washington—a city with some recent struggles in the world of sports—but how does that make everybody in Montreal feel? They’re probably pissed off, right? Or, more likely, they don’t care.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Frontline (Tuesday): Is there a hidden cost to all those cell phone towers that give us the great coverage we so rely on in this day and age? Meredith Blake checks out the latest episode of this show, which uncovers the hidden underbelly of the cell phone world. PBS wishes you a happy May sweeps.