Though it's easy to become enveloped in the byzantine intrigue of Lindsay Lohan's fateful car crash, provided you are one of those who do not accept that it all took place on a sound stage under the direction of the Illuminati, let us not forget that it's also a very conveniently timed "distraction" from the upcoming Lifetime biopic Liz And Dick, which is still called that. The film has already been preceded by numerous promotional photos like the above that have confirmed that the Elizabeth Taylor biopic will be exacting in its attention to wigs, which may make The Daily Beast's excerpting of scenes from the script somewhat redundant. Nevertheless, it does offer a preview of some of the other, less-important ways in which Lohan will pay tribute to Taylor, in addition to announcing her own triumphant return to serious acting.
These include moments you can look forward to such as: Lohan as Taylor mooning the paparazzi while screaming about "spaceships;" numerous instances of Lohan drunk, slurring, and throwing alcohol at people, this time in a movie; an "ethereal sound stage" framing device, in which Lohan/Taylor and Grant Bowler's Richard Burton talk directly to the audience; and a scene in which Taylor punches Burton for calling her overweight and shrieks, "Feel my fat pudgy hands now!" In other words, Liz And Dick is going to be playing at campy midnight movie screenings for a long, long time.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org