Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, September 5. All times are Eastern.
Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators (Syfy, 9 p.m.): In the quest to find the next Sharknado, aquatic-life-based weather events simply would not do. (Though your What’s On Tonight? correspondent is still shopping a screenplay for Prawnsoon over here.) And so the bold researchers of Syfy Laboratories toiled away deep into the night, scouring other cable-TV phenomena for inspiration. Everyone said they were mad, but they’d show you who was truly mad—and after nodding off to a Duck Dynasty marathon, the men and women of uncompromising vision and limited budget had their (mad) eureka moment. Part redneck. Part gator. All schlock—and right up Scott Von Doviak’s alley. BEHOLD! Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators.
Wilfred (FX, 10 p.m.): Then again, Elijah Wood’s been working with a talking dog for three seasons, and you don’t see him dashing off overly excited, hastily assembled research papers to Mad Scientific American and Fangoria. That’s why Wilfred’s going to end its third season just like any other: With a dash of existential searching conducted under the watchful eye of Rowan Kaiser.
Graceland (USA, 10 p.m.): Here’s a mystery for the agents of Graceland to solve: Why does the show keep disappearing from the USA lineup at randomly scheduled intervals? And yet Genevieve Valentine suggests the not-so-intermittent disappearance of an FBI agent might be a more pressing matter.
Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, midnight): Childrens celebrates “Old Fashioned Day,” a likely switcheroo that David Sims is already predicting will lead to an episode set in the near future. At least it better be, or David’s efforts to transfer his consciousness to a robotic surrogate will have been in vain. (On the plus side: Meet RoboSims, everyone!)
NTSF: SD: SUV:: (Adult Swim, 12:30 a.m.): Sometime in another near future, the NTSF crew almost certainly satirically tangles with their own sharknadoes and/or ragin Cajun redneck gators. Kevin McFarland says that if you’re watching Adult Swim on a working TV on top of your non-working TV—and your interlocking teeth help distinguish you from a crocodile—you might be a redneck gator.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Gilmore Girls (1 p.m.): While he undergoes the costly and lengthy RoboSims procedure, David Sims needs someone to step in and oversee his very specific lawn-watering regimen. Act now and get access to his extensive collection of vintage board games and opinions on season three’s “Eight O’Clock At The Oasis” and “Take The Deviled Eggs…”
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Yukon Gold (National Geographic, 7 p.m.): There’s gold in this there reality show! GoOooooOoOoOOOOOOoold! Unless it’s about the variety of potato that shares the show’s title, in which case there’s potatoes in this there reality show! PoooooOOoooOoOoOOotaaaaatooooOOOes!
Tamar And Vince (WE, 9 p.m.): In the second season outside of the main Braxton Family Values orbit, Tamar Braxton and Vincent Herbert begin their pregnancy year with an episode that declares “It’s A Herbert”—either an allusion to the baby taking its father’s surname, or a suggestion that the couple is giving birth to a middle-aged claims adjuster from Kokomo, Indiana. (Theoretical business card tagline: “Herbert Herbert: The insurance guy so nice, they named him twice.”)
Forbidden (ID, 10 p.m.): With a series première titled “Cocaine Queenpin,” it must be forbidden. Or Forbidden.
The Customer Is Always Right? (OWN, 10 p.m.): In a move that could risk the corporation’s hold over corner-of-the-mall baked-goods sales (finally, an opening The Great American Cookie has been biding all this time to fill!) Mrs. Fields’ is this new series’ first corporation to invite its clientele to help shape the direction of the company. Be on the lookout for a slate of fresh offerings from the renamed Mrs. Fields’ And Also Some Random Assholes Who Have Serious Opinions About How Many Chocolate Chips To Use.
Rob Roy (BBC America, 6 p.m.): The historical epic about the Scottish champion-of-the-people who inspired his very own cocktail. Liam Neeson gives a smooth performance with a bit of bite and a dry finish—and just the subtlest hints of maraschino-cherry sweetness.
Les Misérables (HBO, 7 p.m.): Hugh Jackman portrays (and sings as) a different kind of outlaw hero, one made up by Victor Hugo and freighted with the musical-theater aspirations of many a male drama geek—as well as the unrealizable crushes of their female counterparts clad in T-shirts covered in Cosette’s face.
Sunday Night Football: Ravens at Broncos (NBC, 7:30 p.m.): Recognizing that it’ll soon have to fill this airtime with scripted comedy, NBC squeezes in another Thursday-night matchup—one that actually matters, in that it’s kicking off the Baltimore Ravens’ regular-season attempt at defending their Super Bowl title and beginning that brief, shining period on the TV calendar when NBC is the undisputed No. 1 broadcast network.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Futurama: The long-running, revived animated comedy is no more, it’s head having been suspended in a jar of life-sustaining liquid by Zack Handlen yesterday evening. It’s now resting on a shelf and monitored 24-7 by its faithful companion, RoboSims.