Months ago, we packed away the above graphic, symbolically lowering the flag in belief that Charlie Sheen and Warner Bros. had at least reached a détente in the war of attrition and asininity that had so engulfed 2011. But much like the fake Vietnam War that Charlie Sheen’s dad fake-fought that still fake-rages on in Charlie Sheen’s mind, it’s never over: Yesterday lawyers for Warner Bros. sent a cease-and-desist letter to the producers of Sheen’s new FX comedy Anger Management, demanding that they stop using photos of Sheen from Two And A Half Men in its promotional materials, calling shots such as this one of Sheen straddling a motorcycle its “intellectual property,” and thus an unfair appropriation of the unique ideas for which Two And A Half Men is known.
And while FX agreed to do so in accordance with the Treaty of We're Not Really Doing This Again Are We?, naturally Sheen has offered his own comment on the decision, as that is what Charlie Sheen does: “I’m thrilled,” Sheen tells TMZ. “It insulates me from having to redundantly see myself in the idiotic bowling shirt.” Having thus issued his shot across the bow, Sheen then dove in for some old-fashioned strafing, saying, “Perhaps if Warner Bros. spent as much time and energy focusing on their show, it wouldn't be such a steaming pile of ass.” Upon hearing his comment, staff in the Two And A Half Men writers’ room sadly erased “Ashton sleeps with a steaming pile of ass” from the whiteboard, and the Sheensday clock was reset to five minutes 'til. Nothing is over! You don't just turn it off!
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